Grand Reopening

So okay...

My last post was... gasp... two years ago.

I was just randomly searching for whatever I can read to combat depression and catatonia, and I came across a personal blog. Well, the way blogs were supposed to be. Personal. A chronicle of sort of one's life, written in gripping prose.

Not how blogs are seen these days, as either a political piece, a short-cut to fame and, well, infamy for some, or a source of income. No. Not those at all... A personal blog. And it got me thinking about visiting this Batchoyan, that, though not serving anymore as often as it used to, remains open and takes up blogspace. And so, I turn to what have always been a panacea for me. Writing.

So yes, you can say, some darkness creates light elsewhere, and that's what you owe this new blog post to.

There I was in my somber gloomy mood, licking my wounds, staving off full on rock bottom clinical depression, just wasting my time, unemployed and alone in Manila, stretching what little money I have saved, and getting by with raket jobs that comes every now and then... It has been two years too, that I have been preparing and suffering and having my life on hold and in suspended animation... and again, I taste the full sting of defeat. I was thinking, I have been here before, I could handle it better, but not.

You know what they say about pain.

How it fucking demands to be felt.

Oh but yeah, as all returns demand, I owe you an 'ang nakaraan' explanation to how I got here at this point of my dreary sordid life.

So okay. back story to keep us up to date.

In March 2014, I have checked and rechecked my old tattered prospectus. I have penciled in all grades from all subjects and I was delighted to know that after X number of years, I was finally about to be done with law school! All marked and completed! I applied for graduation. I was already dreaming of the day wearing my garb and starting the next journey. But no. One subject held me back and gave me a failing grade. After much talking and gnashing and anguish, the 5.0 was retracted and I was given an INC. Long story short, it took me another year to finish and get a sudden death completion exams to get that over and done with.

I passed.

In April of 2015, I finally donned my Law School Sablay, and graduated. Of course. The next thing to think of was the Bar Exams. I psyched myself up. I made major decisions. I gathered all my strengths and my resolves. I moved to Manila. Again. This time, the plan was to stay for good. Well, for best, if you may.



I just figured that to be able to concentrate and focus on the review, I would have to spend at least 6 grueling months. Creature of comfort that I am, I needed my command center. The thought of having to go through the process of uprooting and settling in Manila, and then doing it all over again to come back to Iloilo was daunting. My plan was to stay. Find my command center, make a home, and be based in Manila for good. I would review for 6 months, take the Bar which lasts for a month, take a few months break, find a job maybe, and wait for the results. After which, recoup, consider my options, and stay in the Metro. It sounded like a good plan.

Of course, my mother, being the mother, like all mothers are, and my father, being unlike any father that all fathers are, did try every so often to get me to go back to Iloilo.

I was stubborn. I did not want to budge. As a result, I suffered bouts of homesickness, missing my friends, missing my community, watching the scenes I have established in Iloilo flourish without me, and the occasional push and pulls every time I come home for a break. It isn't easy. Well nothing is.

As it is, and as all best laid plans go, they do not go as best as we want them to. Fast forward... two review seasons, two years, two attempts. No such luck.

So here I am, alone in the Metro, no family, my friends busy with their own lives. Unemployed, borderline depressed, funds running out quick, waiting for the next chapter to unfold, with nothing to show for but this stubborn hope, and my dreams that are bigger than me. Ah but the stories!

Oh yes, the stories! Rich, colorful stories yes. I do have a lot. And yes I have come home to the Batchoyan to tell them all. As I have always done so...

I know I have promised to keep writing and reviving this blog, time and again. But now, the promise shall be even stronger.

I cannot wait to tell the stories.

The Batchoyan needs dusting here and there, fixing this and that, but yes, it opens one more time.

It's technically not a reopening because it never really closed but what the hell! Besides, after these days of gloom and doom, I need an excuse to celebrate, so yeah!

Welcome me back.

Bless the Beast and the Children

I had a very nice chat with a very good friend today. It started out with a voiced concern over my choice of relationships. He was asking me, well, quite well-meaning, how I would contend being in a relationship that, well, does not bear fruits - children he means. If I had not known him the way I know him, I would readily dismiss his commentary as a heternormative judgment of my relationships. But since I have known him to be an open-minded and good person, I obliged the conversation. Maybe it's also a chance to educate a would be straight ally in this long-winding and never-ending battle on marriage equality and gender acceptance. Because you know, it gets tiring to always be on the defensive and always explaining your choices to people who cannot be bothered to look beyond their own petty circumstances and biases. But I felt a genuine concern from this friend so I guess it merited a good discussion,



First of all, I'm bisexual. It means that I am attracted to both men and women, so it's a bit short-sighted to chalk it all up to having non-fruitfuil (childless) relationships. I mean, you know, I could very well fall in love with a woman and we can have all that, and the kitchen sink too. Though admittedly, the last couple of relationships I had involved someone of the same sex, but still, it does not take away that possibility for me.




Secondly, not all relationships have children as an end all and be all. I have seen a lot of heterosexual couples who have chosen to remain childless. It may be an economic thing, it may be a medical thing, or it may just be a spontaneous thing. They just don't have children and that's that. Does it take away the legitimacy of that union or relationship just because they choose to not have children for whatever reasons they want? Which brings me to a secondary point here. The problem with conforming to societal norms is that, it does not take into consideration that each relationship is as special as the next one. The details and considerations are different from any other. Relationships don't come in one mould. They are as special and as unique as the thumbprints for each individual. And to demand that each one of them conform to a held societal standard is unfair. Relationships are personal. Hence, adopting this societal norm for couples to bear children is unkind and unrealistic to say the least. What more with homosexual partnerships.




Third, do we really need children? Maybe we should also question the reasons behind wanting children. Do you want them because you feel it is a gift of nature to be given the care and nurturing of a young individual or do you feel it as a measure of one's success in life? Is it for the altruistic reasons of rearing and caring for a child in continuance of the good of the human race and as stewards to a good life and future or is it a badge that we brandish to make us feel complete and accomplished? I believe that another human life is a gift and a wonder and it should not be used for selfish purposes of making one feel his own achievement and completeness. This gift comes to us as a responsibility and a privilege and not as a matter of right. It's not as if we can just go to a store to get a nice dress because it looks good on us. I believe that if we adopt this view, then maybe, herein lies the reason why we have so many failed parenting and many shattered children nowadays. Besides, the world's population continues to balloon uncontrollably. If we do not have our own lives at a manageable condition, why the hell would we want to bring in someone innocent to share in this savagery we call the earth? If you cannot even make ends meet and cannot figure your own life, why the hell would you bring someone in, whom, you have the obligation to guide towards a good life? Isn't it ironic, don't you think?




Fourth, like I said before, relationships are as special and unique as they come. To answer the question, I am in such relationships because I believe I am in love with the other person and that he or she feels the same way towards me. Why are we to stop from wanting to be together just because we cannot have children? Can we not hope to share each other's lives and be witnesses to each other's wonderful journey? Can we not want to have dinners and coffee and endless talks and dreams shared, ours or as a couple, under the moonlight? Can we not want adventures and trips together? Can we not want to build a future, a home, or want to close our eyes at night, being hugged secure, or wake up in the morning to their sour breaths, or go through the day knowing that we do not need to be alone anymore? Can this not be enough reasons to be with someone? Is that not as valid as they come?



Finally, I believe that until our relationships are dignified by the ability to be recognized under the law then we should not be required to subscribe to a societal world view from those who enjoy such privileges that we are not given. Why? If we have children, either by scientific ways or by adoption, are we given the same rights to claim tax exemptions or to exercise parental rights the same way those whose marriages are recognized does? Can we go to games and activities and family days and what nots for our children without raising eyebrows? Are we accepted to raise children in the same way the heterosexuals do without meeting a lot of hate and judgments and vehement objections to start with? Then, if that is not the case, then why saddle and expect the same things of us that you do? You do not want to give us those rights and privileges, why expect the same responsibilities from us? Unless we could all level off and accept the fact that we are as good as you, or even better than you to be parents to our children, and our families receive the same support and the same protection then do not expect us to honor whatever traditions it is that you have taken upon yourself. The disparity only grows more apparent unless and until you accept the fact that we too want the same things, not as homosexuals or anything, but as human beings who are capable of the same love, both parental and spousal.

The struggle is long and hard, but I believe that we have gained so much grounds and we are winning. Well, not really us, but love. Because if it is not love that compels us to do what we do, then I believe we have already lost from the very start. Unless everyone accepts that love is love is love, and that this love defies boundaries and distinctions, then we will never be able to level off. As for me and my choices, I am only defined by one impetus. LOVE.

And yes, after all these abstractions and deconstructions, at the root of all these, is LOVE. And yes, I believe that in the end, no matter how long it takes - LOVE WILL WIN!

Mabuhay ang mga LGBT at MABUHAY ANG PAG-IBIG!

Friendship Bond

Last night was a happy night of celebrating friendships.

I came home happy and in good cheer from the birthday dinner of my very good friend and personal style maven Jor-El Espina. While waiting for my meds to kick-in, another new friend, Topher was chatting with me online. I am scheduled to fly to Manila next week to be with him and spend some time bonding.

It got me into a pensive and reflective mood. This friendship thing is really amazing! Jor-El and Topher are contrasts, if length of time is to be the basis.

Jor-El and I have been friends, way back when he was still in College. I may not exactly remember how we became friends, but we have always been friends and I can barely recall us ever even getting into a fight or misunderstanding. It just worked. It has also endured absence and distance. I have always been very very proud of him. He was just a struggling young conceptual jewelry maker, stringing together beads and jeweler wire. When he joined the Robinson's Iloilo Design Lab Competition, he was adjudged 1st Runner Up because his designs were too conceptual and way out there, which is what I loved about him. He has brilliant, brave, bold ideas, and he is very passionate about what he does. The reward for his hard work and dedication is his growing atelier with numerous clients, and his being recognized by the fashion industry, being featured in glossy magazines and being named as one of the top young designers of the country. I have watched him rise to where he is right now and I have always been proud and will always believe in him. Our friendship has this quaint quality. We do have a lot of common friends within our circles, but we have always yearned for 'our' time. I would visit his shop, we would grab coffee or Batchoy or Halohalo at the nearby wet market. No matter how many of our circles meld, we always make it a point to be with just him and me.

On the other hand, Topher is a relatively new friend. We are members of this online group and I first noticed him when he lauded a comment I gave on a certain thread in that group. He then added me on Facebook but never really picked up and connected from there, not until I discovered that he sings and sings well, so I requested him to sing a favorite song, which he obliged. We then agreed to meet one time I went to Manila, and from there, formed this amazing bond that I do not understand. It's just so light and so right! Very natural and fuss free! We just clicked! Just like that, and now he calls me his BFF, much to the jealousy of some of his long time friends, and mine too. I cannot really explain how it happened. It just did!


COMMONS

Jor-El and I has this recurring conversation about the quest for artistic integrity and how to harmonize it with the demands of the industry. We are both fans of each other's works - his designs and my writing. Of course we do talk about the little things - such as the detractors and the scums of this planet. And it is so much fun!We inspire each other and drive each other towards artistic excellence and achievements. We celebrate each other's successes. There is nothing sweeter for me than seeing a friend succeed and reach for his dreams, and see him do it!

Topher and I share talks about his passion for singing. I cheer him on as he has decided to embark on the very difficult decision of giving up his stable corporate job to follow his dreams of being a singer and performer. We are both fans of each other's craft - his singing, my poetry and acting. Of course we also gossip about, well, personalities we both know in the community and of course, flings, flames, and exes, and yes it is so much fun! He adores my humor and wit. I adore his bumbling openness. It is very refreshing.

THE COMMODIFICATION OF FRIENDSHIP

During dinner, Jor-El's effervescent Mom was talking to me. I adore her! When I came in, she wanted me to be seated beside her (which by the way killed off a potential flirtation with one hot guest who kept checking me out, but what the heck) and she engaged me in talks. She talked about Jor-El and the friends who came, some she did not know, some she knew for a long time and how she said I shouldn't call her Tita, but that I should call her 'Mama'! It warmed my heart and I genuinely adored her! She said that she felt my friendship with Jor-El, as she thinks it is genuine. It made me proud. She remarked that some friends come only when you are already successful, and on top. And the more success you gain, the more 'friends' you attract.

It lead me to ask myself how these friendships work. Of course I have had other friendships worth years that did not withstand the tests of adversities, some, intense as they were, but forgotten, set-aside, non-active and even ended. I had my share of cutting loose some long standing friendships that were no longer working and are more of a liability than an asset. It got me thinking how these friendships I still keep could work, with not much presence and not much effort on both our sides. I have a very busy life and I keep many circles. Sometimes I am amazed and jealous of those 'groupies' who are forever within each other's reach. I do not have that. I have circles yes, but I do not have a permanent fixed group so to speak so I wonder how the many friendships I have could work and exist, and how some could just wither and die off.

Whether we admit it or not, somehow, there is this 'commodification' of friendships nowadays. How we keep friends for the benefits they have in our lives and what is in it for us. Jor-El has made me a number of outfits, and yes, will make more for me. He has never asked me to pay for any one of them! NOT ONE! And if I would insist to pay, he would be hurt and insulted, I know that! I understand how the atelier is a business, and that he has bills to pay, materials to buy, workers to give wages to and all that, but he just refuses for me to pay him! He just tells me to treat him for lunch - or dinner- or coffee. I do not know. He is just like that with me! It has never been a question and money has never figured in our friendship.

Topher on the other hand is hosting me in Manila next week. He wants me to stay at their house and his Mom is thrilled to be meeting me, making him clean his room and making sure I have beddings and comfort and all that jazz. They are not exactly well to do but the hospitality is just overwhelming, and he is even picking me up from the airport! He is also looking forward to my staying with him when I relocate soon.

It got me thinking - do we keep our friendships based on the 'utilitarian' purposes of such? Even if we do not admit it to ourselves, do we value friendships because of the 'junkets' that they could provide for us? Have we commodified friendships, and those that pleases us are those that can 'do something' for us. It certainly feels good if a friendship benefits us not just in psychological presence and support, but also the 'worldly material' support and favors we get from them. Admit it or not, a free meal is a free meal. A free outfit is a free outfit and free board and lodging is free board and lodging. When we make friends, will the value of the friendship be a consideration? Do we value those friends who can 'do more' for us than those that would 'require more' from us? Scary questions, but valid ones, I should say. And this is what I asked myself tonight.

VALUE BEYOND VALUE

I am just proud that my answers, after careful thought, honest soul searching and reflection is in the negative. While it is true that a junket is a junket and it does make us feel good and add value to us in convenience, I could safely say that it is not me to be that.

Jor-El has been a friend even before he could be 'valuable'. The outfits he makes for me are made with my tastes and personality in mind. I could buy myself a good outfit for special occasions that call for it, and yes I do have an existing wardrobe. He just wants to do it because he wants to, and validate our friendship. He has been a friend even before he could do anything for me.

Topher has been a friend even before he offered his house for me to stay at in Manila. I could afford to pay for a budget hotel, and yes I have done that. In fact, I would be sacrificing my own 'comfort zones' by staying with him. He just wanted to spend more time with me on this trip, because we would only see each other for a number of hours for coffee if I stay in a hotel, He wants more time with me and having a spare room just happens to be a convenience.

So's with my other friends! They just happen to be doing something that I happen to be in need of at one time or the other - it just happens that they draw, and I am looking for sketches for my book; they just happen to be photoartists and I am a vainglorious GGSS feeling model; they just happen to be working somewhere with a gallery when I wanted to mount an ambitious poetry exhibit; they just happen to own a restaurant when I want to celebrate a birthday or a whimsical poetry reading event; they just happen to be driving a car when I needed a lift or to transport certain things; they just happen to work in Boracay and I need a break and I love the beach; they just happen to be in Davao and I want to go to Samal Island; they just happen to love coffee as much as I do; they just happen to harp on the same things that I do; they just happen to - all incidentals, but not the point of the friendship at all!

It's just that I am a writer when they happen to need a story line concept for their collection; I just happen to write and train for speeches when their siblings need it in school; I just happen to be giving poetry workshops when they need an activity for children in school; I just happen to be good in grammar when they need their theses to be proofread; I just happen to know some people they need for this and that - INCIDENTAL!

This friendship thing - it's amazing! It's a lot like falling in love, but even better. It's like family, but not by accident or pre-ordination but by choice. Explain as I may, I would never be able to fully understand how this one works and that one does not. It's a lot like magic.

I am just happy that I have been blessed by real people and real friendships - because really, you just cannot tell! There is no way of knowing when a friendship happens to be a masked deceitful thing that only seeks to glorify one party and use you in more ways than one. There is no protecting yourself as there is no hard-fast rule written to base and judge a friendship by. You just have to wing it! I am lucky to have friends whom I can count on through thick and thin, and well - thickest and thinnest! And yes I am very lucky to still attract more friendships that will be true to me, time notwithstanding.

I am lucky and blessed to have Jor-El and Topher - and many other wonderful, beautiful friends!

I am lucky and blessed with my friends - and doubly lucky and blessed knowing that they too, feel the same way about me!

That Thing Called .... ASANESS

Hindi ito movie review.

More like, knee-jerk reaction.

More like MeMa

So yun... Where do broken hearts go ba talaga tita Whitney?

If there is one thing, this movie has elicited so much reaction from so many people. Polarized opinions that is. Isa lang siguro ako sa maraming nagbigay at magbibigay pa ng kumento tungkol sa pelikula. Mula sa technical details ng film making, to the very personal and what-nots. Merong sobrang thesis statement ang peg makareact meron din namang MeMa - Maganda - Pangit - ganun. So I'm getting into the fray and throwing my own, well, reaction to the film. More like - reflections.

Suspension of disbelief

Sa panunood ng sine, o kahit pagbabasa o pagsunod ng kwento, meron tayong tinatawag na believability. Kahit pa sabihin nating 'magic realist' o 'fantasy' ang tema, meron pa rin tayong mga pinanghahawakang 'realidad' at kailangan, naka-anchor dun sa realidad na yun somehow ang takbo ng narrative ng storya. So yun nga, itong suspension of disbelief ay stretched na stretched sa pelikulang ito. Hindi ko na siguro kailangan ikwento ng buong buo ang storya ng pelikula kasi alam ko naman napanuod nyo na, nabasa somewhere, or if not, binabalak pa lang panoorin, so walang spoilers, pero alam mo yung feeling na... WEH?

Unang-una, the opening frames tell of a story of an arrow with a heart pierced through it. Parang mali. Parang baligtad ata. Parang - weh! May heart ba na consciously ay sya ang magpipierce through an arrow? Wait lang...

Tapos ang unang dilemma, kailangan magbawas ng luggage ni Mace kasi excess nga sya so yun, pinagtatatapon nya sa basurahan ang mga... ahmmm... panty... at teddy bear. Like... ahmmm... sobrang bigat nyang mga bagay na yan teh! And then later on, ang eksena ay maglalalagalag sila ni Anthony bitbit ang mga maleta nya sa Baguio at sa Sagada! Teh! Wala kang pambayad sa excess baggage pero may pang rampa ka! WEH?

O so yun na. Nung nasa Pinas na sila, yun nga, bigla na lang naisipan nilang dalawa na maglagalag nga kung saan saan. TO, you know, find where do broken hearts go nga ba talaga? WOW! Wala silang mga kaibigan, kamag-anak, kachika and everything na kailangan makaalam na nasa Pilipinas na sila at naisipang maglalalandi all over. WEH? At wala rin silang mga trabaho etc etc.

Sobrang intense ng moment na nakalimutan nilang pwede naman iwanan sa hotel, o sa baggage counter ang maleta so parang chararat lang na dala dala nila yun. Like I said, kung may panglagalag sila, I'm sure, magkano lang ang hostel na pwedeng paglagyan nun.

SO yun, at may drama silang matutulog sa labas under the stars in Sagada. Hello Hypothermia? WEH? 

At may chenelyn na kapag na mention ang ex ay magbabayad ng 100 pesosesosesosesoses! WEH? Buong pelikula, yun ang point! Ang pag usapan ang ex!

That Thing Called Asaness...

So yun na nga. Pero naisip ko, ano ba ang implication ng pelikulang ito? Well simple lang. Tinuturuan tayong maging mga ASANESS lahat! Asaness kasi sa tutoo lang...

Walang Anthony na magsasalba sa atin sa mga excess baggages natin sa buhay. Malamang lamang, ang mangyayari, drug courier ang peg natin pag ganun. Hello kakilabot kaya yung ganung chenever! One time, minadali kong umuwi from Jakarta for Christmas. Nag excess baggage ako at pagbabayarin ng 30Million Rupiah! Wala! Walang Anthony na nagoffer na ilagay ang trench coat ko sa bagahe nya at ibigay ang free luggage allowance nya for me. Kasi sa tutoo lang, lahat tayo, may excess baggage! Kung hindi ako nagthreaten na isusuot ko lahat ng kaya kong isuot sa mga dala dalahan ko, at nagsabing - well this feels like extortion. I absolutely have no extra cash left and I just want to go home for Christmas, saka pa lang ako kinausap ng manager na gagawan daw nya ng paraan. In short - tayo ang magsusolve ng problema natin. Tayo ang magbibitbit ng excess baggages natin at minsan, kailangan natin talagang ibasura ang mga bagay bagay - more than just our panties!

Walang Anthony na magququote ng mga Philosophical at Literary lines sa atin. Walang sasama sa atin sa Baguio at sa Sagada para lang chumenever sa kadramahang pinagdadaanan natin. Malamang sa malamang sasabihan lang tayo ng mga friends natin na 'MOVE ON!' Ganun! May mga pasok sila, may mga bayarin at may mga sariling shit sa buhay. Oo, pwedeng may sumama sa atin magkape saglit. Sa weekend, mga ganun! Pero sa true lang, wit! May expiration date ang pagdadrama sa mundong ito. Walang sasama sa yo para chumeneschenes lang sa Sagada! Kailangan mong umayos, now na! No one can stand a sob story!

At kumusta naman ang rebound? Sa tutoo lang, ang magkakainteres lang at magkakapanahon na samasamahan ka sa kaletchehan mong pagdradrama ay ang mga may ulterior motives. At malamang sa malamang, kawawa sa bandang huli si Anthony. Rebound ang peg. VulcaSeal. Well come to think of it, yung last ko, medyo ganun. Red flag dapat na malimit nyang sinasabi o kinukwento sa akina ng ex nya! Eh ako si tanga. Reassure na hindi mangyayari ang ganun sa atin - na iba ako sa ex mo. Ang jending, waley! Iniwanan nya rin ako kasi siguro hindi pa nga sya nakapag-move on and all that shit.

Tanong ni Anthony, bakit ba daw ang hilig hilig ng mga mayayamang babaeng kagaya ni Mace na hanapin ang mga sarili nila sa Baguio?

Hindi ko rin alam. Hindi ako mayaman at mas lalong hindi ako babae. At ang scary lang n'yang paghahanap sa sarili. Eh kung bigla mo nga makasalubong ang sarili mo sa Diplomat Hotel? OMG! ISKEYRI! Kaya never kong hinahanap ang sarili ko! WITIT!

Where Nga Ba Talaga?

Yun nga, in the end, pinagmumukha tayong mga tanga! Yun ang point. Kasi katangahan naman talaga ang umibig ng bonggang bongga. Tuturuan tayong either maging jaded, o maging asaness. Kasi nga, yun yon eh.  Nagiging mas Hopia tuloy tayo, mas nganga, mas asaness... hintay ng hintay kay Anthony, o hanap ng hanap kay Tyang Whitney at kung where nga ba talaga ang letcheng pinupuntahan ng mg broken hearts na yan.

At sa tutoo lang... wala naman talaga tayong choice sa huli eh. Walang guarantees ang pag-ibig. Walang guarantee that it is fit for use for our purposes at wala ring guarantee that it is free from defect! Hindi ito consumer's code! Walang Magna Carta for the Protection Against Wrongful Love!

Wala! Hindi mo makakasuhan sa Korte Suprema! Wit! Kahit anong gawin mo, kung talagang iiwanan ka nya, iiwanan at iiwanan ka. At kesehodang itapon at ibasura mo pa lahat ng teddy bears at panty mo, maeexcess at ma eexcess baggage ka pa din. At wala ring pakialam ang mundo kung pagod ka na!

Kaya wala ka na ring magagawa talaga... kundi ang umasa. Maniwalang may karma, may Diyos and somehow, in the grander scheme of things, lahat ng paghihirap at pageemote mo, someday soon, may pupuntahan. Na may cosmic accounting na tinatawag... na may tadhana... na may arrow with a heart pierced through it... Na may suspension of disbelief... na may happy ending... na may Anthony...

Na merong 'That Thing Called...

ASANESS!

Mabuhay ang mga umiibig, nasaktan, patuloy umiibig, nagpapakatanga, nagpapakabitter, at naniniwala pa rin at umiibig pa rin ulit!

Mabuhay ang mga ASANESS!

Pasok sa Jar - The Top 10 List

HELLER!

As usual, hindi na naman napanindigan ang pangakong magbabalik-loob sa blogspot! Kasi, kasi, kasi! Well, hindi na ako mageexplain, labyu!

Ayun, dahil Sunday at dahil rest day ko, yes rest day - wag naman day-off napaka-very very chimini-ah-ah-ish naman ng day-off, so yun rest day. Nakipagchikahan ako sa mga friendships ko. At dahil unang araw ng Pebrero, ano pa nga ba THE DEADLINE!

So yun! Dahil ako nga ay single ulit, at dahil isyu yun sa mga mahadera kong mga kaibigan, ako ang napagdiskitahan! Kasi nga daw, ang arte-arte ko! Kesyo ang taas taas daw ng standards ko! Kesyo pihikan ako! Kesyo andali-dali ko daw maturn-off. Excuse me! Mukhang yung mga naging ex ko yata ang dinidescribe nyo at hindi ako. Oh so ganun na nga - at dahil dun, nabuyo ako ng mga hitad na magsulat ng Top Ten List! The Pasok sa Jar Edition.

Sa tutoo lang, dapat kasi Top Ten List ito ng mga kung ano ang kinaliligwak ng mga possible chorva. o yung mga pet peeves ko. Pero dahil ako ay Customer Service Rep, dapat positive scripting daw tayey, kaya instead Top Ten ng Mga Signs and Symptoms na Pasok ka sa Jar ni Batchoy!

In other words - namumuro ka na! At pwede mo nang ma Bingo ang matamis na OO ng basagan at luhaang puso ng makatang itey! CHARAUGHTTE LANG!

Syempre dapat non-physical kasi heller, alam na ng madlang universe na bisexual ako at alam na nilang lahat na pag sa lalaki, ayoko ng straight, at mahilig ako sa chubby, singkit, matangkad, maputi, slightly mabalahibo, maganda at bilugan ang binti, and all that jazz. At kung girl naman, mahilig ako sa fuss-free no make up, maganda ang lips, maganda ang mata, malaki ang boobs, (sahreh naman) slightly mas matangkad ako dapat sa kanya, maganda ang smile, at medyo morena. So wit na yang mga yan. Dun daw tayo sa mga non-physical aspects.

So without further ado, itey na! Ang Top 10 Pasok sa Banga List ng Batchoy! In no particular order:

CHARMELLE! BUKSAN NA!

#10

Artsy-Fartsy Ek

Music lover ka? Nagdodrowing? Struggling Indie Artist? Tumiteatro? Or may nakatago ka lang skills in the arts na hindi mo inilalabas-labas at cloistered shit ang drama? Malamang sa malamang, teh! Mabebet kita at nakakadagdag yan sya ng mga 10,000,000 Pasok sa Jar points sa yo! Yung tortured soul shit! Mga ganun ganung drama! At mas na kapag nacomplement ng shit mo ang mga poems shit ko sa buhay jusko! Mangangarap na ako kung paano tayong mabubuhay na nagdidildil ng asin at umaasa sa shit nating mga art para mabuhay, samantalang inuulam ang letcheng pag-ibig na syang nagka-catapult sa atin sa ating mga sariling artistic greatness! CHARAUGHTTE LANG! Wiz ko bet ang mamatay na dilat sa gutom, pero how bohemian romantic shit daba? So yun! Bet ni Batchoy ang artistic shit kaya hashtag alam na!

#9  

Humor-pa-more Amore!

Kung pasok sa akin ang humor mo kahit nakakairita at jologs! Alam na this! Ewan ko ba! Malapit sa puso ko ang humor bones ko! I remember an ex. Sobrang waley na nakakairita mag-joke pero hindi ko alam kung bakit! Napapatawa nya ako at bet na bet ko ang mga kakornihan nyang jokes na nakakainsulto sa aking intelligence, pero natutuwa ako! Kaloka da ba? Pero tested and proven! Pag nahuli mo ang humor ko, malamang sa malamang, lyamado ka neng! Pakak na pakak ka jan! Swak ka sa Jar ng Batchoy! Hindi ko rin alam kung paano o anong pormula, pero basta! Trademark ng mga nakakainlaban ko yang shit na yan! They are all able to make me laugh - and of course, make me cry like hell in the end. Yun nga ang shit dun eh. Pero ganun! Basta! If I find myself laughing at your silly jokes at pagbentang benta sakin ang humor mo, malamang teh! Pasok sa Jar!

KAINAN NA!

#8 

Pick my brains

Hindi naman kailangang MENSA levels teh! Hindi naman kailangang mala-thesis defense or argumentation and debate ang leveling ng usapan teh, ayoko naman ng ganun. Pero kung naeengage mo ko ako sa usapan, at nakakapag-kape ako ng bonggang bongga pag kasama kita, malamang, bukas I love you na! Hindi naman kasi kailangan super-mega-duper opinionated ka to the Political Analyst o Commentator level. Yung tipong nachachallenge ang mga brain cells ko at naeengage ako sa usapan, kahit hindi naman intelektwal ang pinag-uusapan, keribam na! Mas maganda nga yung diverse ang topics natin. Masaya din yung marunong mag open ng topic. Yung ever slightly, kahit hindi ko bet, ay nakakahanap ng hook para mag-usap at madala sa lebel ng diskusyon ang topic kahit pa ang original na pinagmulan ay ang letcheng dambuhalang cake sa Dong-Yan Wedding. Yung mga ganun! Tapos yung may mga witty na sundot na mapapa-epiphany ako! Yung nakakasabay ako sa kahit anong topic nya at nasasabayan nya ang mga topics ko, yung ganun! YUNG RARE NA TRAIT na ganun! Bet na bet ko din, over and above a good conversationalist, is a good listener! Yung kayang irecapitulate ang gist ng mga nasabi ko na. Ayoko naman sa paintelektwal na condescending, kasi in fairness, hindi naman ako nag-gaganun! Basta, if I look forward to speaking with you again, alam na yan! In fact, most of my successful dates started out with long lengthy engaging and pleasurable discussions. Discussions teh, hindi arguments. Yung tipong I will not notice the time at hindi yung, after a few exchanges magsasabi na lang ako na, 'tara pahinga na tayo! Check in na lang?'

Yung ganun! Intellectual orgasm! Seriously, nauuna ang utak ko mainlab kesa sa puso ko at mas nauunang labasan ang utak ko kesa kay Luisito ko!

# 7 

Nocturnal

Medyo shallow sa unang tingin pero in the long run, malaking factor ito. Nocturnal ako, at hindi ko bet ang niyayayang mag breakfast or mag morning walk along the beach. Malamang sa malamang maiimbyernakels ako pag ganun! Well, hindi naman kailangan ma match ang kanocturnalan ko kasi sa true lang, bisyo ko ang paunahing matulog ang partner at pagmasdan lang at pakinggan ang kanyang mga mamusikang snores habang tulog sya sa mga bisig ko! Cinematic movie scene shit ba!

Pero seriously, medyo hirap ako sumabay pag morning person ang partner. Feeling ko, in the end, hindi ako masyadong makapag-participate sa buhay nya kasi nga, magkaiba kami ng time-zone! Yung dramang super cheery morning sunny-sunshine shit sya tapos ako bangag bangag pa sa kulang sa tulog. It does factor a lot nga for me. Lalo na yung mga aktibidades na gusto kong gawin ay nocturnal din in nature. Well ibang usapan naman na yan kung halimbawang out of town trip na mga week-ender shit na ganun. Pwede naman na yun. Wag lang araw araw na ginawa ng Diyos, ay umagang tao sya samantalang ako ay tulog, at pag gising ako , waley na sya sa buhay. Yung ganung factor!

WIT MASHOKOT! MAKIBEKI!

#6

Maadbokasiya

Don't get me wrong! Hindi ko sinasabi na kailangang tibak sya! Hindi nya kailangan mag-rally enevrathing! Ayoko din sa *shivers* vulgar Marxist! Ayoko in fact sa *ist at *isms. Ang gusto ko lang, may adbokasiyang tao! Gusto ko lang may ginagawa sya sa buhay na ipinaglalaban nya. Gusto ko lang may nirerepresenta syang repressed, oppressed at marginalized! Gusto ko lang ang may vision for a better world. Yung may cause. Yung ganun teh! Hindi kailangang lider sya na dumadalo sa mga kung saan saang komperensya sa buong mundo (but not bad). Gusto ko lang in other words ng taong may paki - yung hindi DedMadela! Yung may pusong civic at advocate. Ganun! Kasi maadbokasiya din akong tao. Hindi naman kailangang magkapareho kami ng advocacies pero kung oo, ay eh di why not! Masaya di ba! Gusto ko may pinaglalaban sya at gusto kong ipaglaban nya ang aming karapatang magmahalan! CHAROZ LUCOS! Basta yun! Ayoko sa wapakels sa lipunan teh! Yung may socio-civic consciousness! Bengga ka sa akin pag ganun! Pasok sa Jar!

#5

Touchy touch touch

I'm a very tactile and touchy person. I often communicate with a lot of touch. Pasok ka sa jar kung touchy person ka! Bonus kung out ka at hindi takot sa PDA. Hindi ko naman sinasabing maglalaplapan tayey sa loob ng Manila Cathedral habang may hawak na Placard na LOVE KNOWS NO GENDER! Ligwak yun teh! Hindi naman kailangangan magchukchakchenes sa MRT - (pero hmmmmm exciting!) CHAUZE LANG! But you get my point. Mahilig ako sa physical stimulus. Pag gusto kita, hindi ko maiwasang hawakan ka, hipuan, yakapin, and... ganern! Hahahaha! And I enjoy receiving the same attention, so ayan, give-away na yan ha! If you date me and I allow you to touch me, or I touch you frequently, alam na this! Hehehehe. Special highlight on being OUT. Ang hirap hirap kaya magkajowa ng closet. basta mahirap sya. Yun na yun. Pag ako nagmamahal, hindi ko tinatago dahil what's the point! Ang kakisigan ko ay ineexpose, so bakit mo ko tinatago sa baul! Hindi ako naging out para lang jowain at gawing Yamashita Treasure no! Revel in the light! Ganern!

Fly me to the Moon

#4

Wanderlust Lagalag

Hindi naman kailangang Dora the Explorer ang leveling o mga Relic Hunter na peg! Yung may sense of Adventure lang okay na! Mas masaya kung mahilig sya maglakad. Kasi mahilig talaga ako maglakad! Bet na bet na bet na bet ko yung naglalakad ng hapon o early night time tapos nag-uusap lang kayo habang HHWW. Diba? Three birds in one stone? Yung ganern! Yun nga, yung may sense of adventure! Masaya yun! Yung hindi OC sa travel plans. Traveller nga naman, tapos super mega-duper orteh naman, na kesyo makati ang sheets, maliit ang banyo, hindi nasa tamang direksyon ang windows and all that jazz! Bonus na din kung inaallow nya na ako ang umupo sa window side seat! Hehehehe actually, pinagpapatayan ko tong window side seat na to! Hahahahaha! Mahilig ako mag travel. Out of nowhere, kahit mag-isa lang ako. Kaya alam na this ng mga kaibigan ko pag may nabalitaan silang kasama ko bumiyahe somewhere somewhere, hindi ako nakakapagdeny. Travel is sacred to me, and I do most of my travelling alone. Mas gusto ko yun kesa magkaroon ng super shit na traveling companion, kahit sya pa nagbayad ng buong trip. Kaya pag naiisip ko o niyaya kitang magtravel, kahit sa kabilang bundok lang ng tralala, aba, alam na this! Lab na kita! Pasok ka sa Jar!

#3

The Movies

Hindi ko bet makipagdate sa sinehan. Gaya ng pagtatravel, sacred sa akin ang theater watching and movie going. Kung ang point lang naman ay makipaglampungan sa dilim, aba check in na itey. Wag sa sinehan dear. Kaya kung niyayaya kitang magsine, isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun! Swak ka sa Jar! I am trusting you enough to share that sacred space of movie viewing, trusting that you'd just hold my hand and let me lay my head on your shoulders or chest, or vice-versa. Kaya ligwak ang mga malilibog na nagnininja moves sa sinehan sakin. Prangkahin mo ko, mas mura mag 3 hours kesa mag movie, please lang! SO yun. It goes without saying na Swak sa Jar ang may appreciation sa film. Hindi naman kailangang Cineaste ang peg, o movie analyst slash critic slash afficionado. Sige na! Kahit Pinoy Movie Buff keribelles na! Basta hindi aayaw manuod ng mga mas malaman na mga films keribambolbee na!

LAFOKS!

#2

Foodie Buddy

It goes without saying. Kaya ko gusto ng chubby dahil sa rason na ito! Bet ko ang partner na food buddy ko rin. Bet ko yung food travel, while HHWW sa streets ng Saigon habang subuan peg matapos namin manuod sa Opera house! Kaloka! Five birds in one stone na yun! Pakakasalan ko na yun kung sino man sya! Hahahaha. I come from a family where food is the language of love. Walang may culinary degree sa amin kasi hindi kailangan yun, pero lahat kami nagluluto at alam ng bawat isa ang paboritong pagkain ng bawat isa! Pag masaya ka, ipagluluto ka ng bongga, pag depressdepressan ang drama mo, ipagluluto ka to make you feel better. Super Bonus ang partner na mahilig magluto. Yung adventurous sa pagkain at hindi takot sa calories! Basta ganun! Bet ko ang kaya akong hilain para mag kwek kwek sa UP Diliman o kahit sa mga kagilid-gilidan ng Aurora, o mag-binatog sa Baguio o kahit mag Silog meals sa Philcoa, yung ganern! Hindi kailangang fancy chef. Basta yung bubusugin ang tyan ko pati ang puso ko! Yun yon!

#1

KAPE

Yun ang ending. Kape ang hanap ko. Yung hahanap-hanapin ko araw araw. Yung hindi kumpleto ang araw at buhay ko kung wala. Yung umulan man, umaraw, sya ang gusto ko makasama. May tamang pait-tamis na hanap ko. Yung kasalo ko sa mga saya at tagumpay, at kasama ko sa mga bleakosity at Luz Valdez moment. Yung kahit mapa-sosyalang kapehan man o sa gilid lang ng kalsadang 3-in-1 ay pasok sa jar! Yung magiging kape ng aking buhay, at syempre din, ako rin ang kape ng kanyang buhay. Ang nagpapasimula ng araw, at nagtatapos ng gabi. Kape. Gusto ko ng kape ko! Yun yon!

'NUFF SAID

So yun! Hindi naman ako pihikan at demanding da ba? Napakarational naman ng mga hinahanap ko daba? So yun nga! Hindi naman din kasi kailangang 10 out of 10. Hindi naman ako perfectionist kasi. Saka napaguusapan naman di ba? Ayun. Well, sa mga naghahanap din ng mga letche shit nila sa buhay, gudlak mga teng - malay mo, malay ko, malay nating lahat - MALAYBALAY BUKIDNON!
Char lang! Oh sya! Nakakapagod naman itey! See yah when I next see yah! Lab lab lab! Gudlak sa deadline! MWAHUGS!

Salin Salin Din

Salinsalin Din Pag may Time

So kumusta naman? Ano na bey? Well ito, katatapos ko lang magsalin ng isang libro sa Hiligaynon mula sa Ingles. 130 pages more or less ito, kaya - Achievement unlocked! Pero ang nakakaloka, may dalawang singkapal pa na libro na kailangan din matranslate sa lalong madaling panahon. Like deadline na next weekend. DARNAH!

At bakit naman kamo na nagagahol ako sa oras? Dahil may regular work na ako. YES! Kolboi ulit.
And how exactly did this happen? Oo nga naman. Backtrack muna ang drama at matagal akong walang kwento dito.



So yun nga. Tinatapos ko na ang lawshcool for like forevah! After ko mag Manila at after magtrabaho kun saan saan sa Asia Pacific Region, balik Iloilo ako. It took me two more years to finally almost finish law school. ALMOST!

Putanginampakshet kasi ang isang propesor sa isang subject eh. INC. Binigyan pa ako ng INC sa isang subject na kung sana wala, ay tapos ko na ang letcheng abogasya na ito! SO YUN! Pakyu sha! INC!

Dahil 2nd sem subject yun. waiting in vain ang peg. Meanwhile, nag apply ako sa work dahil  nauubos na ang pinagputahan ko, kaya need ko ng kita. Hindi rin sapat ang mga paraket raket kong mga chuva, kaya ayun. Kolboi ulit habang antay ang 2nd sem para makuhanan ng completion ang putanginang INC na yan.

Meanwhile din, nag-apply ako ng Masters Degree sa UP Open University, and yes, pumasa at nakapasok. Enrollment this week. Buti na lang sumweldo ako. Ayun. So Kolboi ako na nagmamasters sa UPOU ng ASEAN studies. And in my spare time, kung may spare nga ba, ay paraket raket. Isa na dito ang pagsasalin. Minsan Filipino to Hiligaynon, minsan English to Hiligaynon. Iilan lang naman kasi ang gumagawa nun at swerteng naambunan naman ako ng mga projects. Habang nag aantay s aputang inang 2nd Sem.



Sana nakaluwas na akong Manila. Sana at siguro ay hindi nauwi sa wala ang mga tatlong subok ko mag kapartner - dahil malayo ako at dahil nasa Manila sila, at dahil hindi ako mayaman para lumipad lipad every weekend. But that's another story for another day.

Meanwhile, natapos ko ang isang libro at may dalawa pang nag-aantay. Siguro matapos ang 2nd sem at makagrad na ako, pwede na magpalipat sa work at ituloy ang planong Manila. At siguro may mahahanap akong letcheng love na yan.
Siguro wala rin.
Siguro mauuwi lang sa wala.
INC

Meanwhile - salin salin din pag may time!

Joy of, The sheer

I'm back lubak-lubak!

Oo alam ko, it's been a while since I last blogged. Yung last entry ko nung Mayo pa, pero dedma na. I'm back and I will be back for good. Paano nga bang nawalan na ako ng ganang magsulat dito? Kasalanan ni Facebook. Madali na kasing magsulat sa Facebook. Merong 'Notes' Function ang Facebook. Konting edit, konting lagay ng picture, click, share. Tapos. Mas kumplikado ang mag blog at mas madaling sundan ang sulat ng iba sa paltform ng Facebook.



So bakit ba ako bumabalik. Dahil na heartbroken na naman ako. CHARING LANG! Well, sige, dahil nga dun, inaaliw ko ang sarili ko. Nagbasa basa ako ng mga kung anek anek. Sa rest days ko naubos ko mabasa ulit ang "The Great Gatsby" ni F.Scott Fitzgerald, nakasulat ako ng mahigit kumulang sampung haiku dahil sa mahaderang si Sylvia Plath, at nakapagtranslate ako ng isang tula ni Pablo Neruda sa Hiligaynon at Filipino. Taray much no? Hehehehehe

Well yun na nga, dahil sa kakaliwaliw ko kung saan saan, napadpad ako sa tumbler ni israelmekaniko. Funny sya. Witty, humorous. Parang ako. Lamang lang ako ng kaunting paligo at ilang wisik ng Bambini Cologne Summer Fresh Scent. And so, ayun, napanostalgia ako sa pagboblog. So bakit ako bumabalik? Bakit hindi na lang gumawa ng bagong blog sa tumblr? May nagbabasa pa ba ng blogspot? May nagbabasa ba sa akin to start with. And then it dawned upon me. Parang pagkalaki-laking Epiphany - yun na mismo ang rason.

When I started blogging, ang sabi ko lang sa self ko, magsusulat ako dahil yun ang gusto kong gawin. Magkwento. Hindi ko iniisip kung may nagbabasa ba sa akin o wala. Kung may nagcocomment ba? May nagfa-follow o nagshi-share ng mga pinagsusulat ko. And there lies the reason. Hindi naman ang aging platform ang rason kumbakit hindi na ako nagboblog. Followers. Yun ang pinakarason. Instead of just writing for the sake of writing, naghabol ako ng readership. And that spelled the death to my writing. Nawala na yung sheer joy of just putting words into paper. The sheer  joy of putting my thoughts forward. Inalala ko na ang readership, ang acceptance, etc etc etc. At mali ako.



One time, nung nag Manila ako, napag-usapan namin ng isa kong tatay-tatayan na si Atty. JP Cunada ang tungkol sa Sheer Joy. The Sheer Joy of learning for the sake of learning. The sheer joy of writing for the sake of writing. The sheer joy of studying for the sake of studying. Ito ang kailangan ko ma-irecapture sa sarili ko. Ang Sheer Joy na itey.

And so, ito ako. Bumabalik at nagsusulat muli sa isang platform na hindi na siguro pinapansin ng mundo. Dedma! Magsusulat ako dahil gusto kong magsulat. Aaralin ko ulit ang platform na ito. Kung may magbabasa man, thank you. Kung wala, dedma. Babalik ako sa pagboblog dahil gusto ko irecapture ang sheer joy na yun. Na naiwala ko kakahanap ko ng audience. At gaya ng sabi ng magagaling kong mga mentors sa pagsusulat, kung magaling ang pagkakasulat, hahanap at hahanapin ito ng audience. For now, magsusulat lang ako for the sheer joy of it.

And as such, hello there, and welcome me back. Matagal tagal din na wala akong naikwento sa blog kong to, but don't fret. The Batchoy Boi is back, and yes, he is back for good, for the sheer joy of writing.

Sa mga nagbabasa nito, anjan pa ba kayo. Kung oo, heller! Kung wala, dedma. Sana ay nahanap nyo ang sheer joy ng kung ano mang ginagawa at gagawin nyo. And so, welcome back the Batchoy!

MABUHEI!

Refuse Medical Attention

Today was quite a day!

It started out with the happy occasion of my parent's 44th wedding anniversary. Most of the family got together in good spirits for a celebratory lunch. The (grand)kids were also there. When lunch winded down, it was too late and I was too lazy already to go to my next class at 1:00PM, so I decided to stay with my sister at the grill. She had some drinks with some of the boys and I had coffee from nearby Starbucks. Around 6PM, my friend texted me. He was offering me his month old Nokia C6 for only 7,500. I was reluctant for two reasons. One, I just recently upgraded to a Nokia 5800, which I got for 5,000, and secondly, I was waiting in the wings for a cheaper (almost free) deal with another friend for an N7. He said he was kinda pressed to sell his unit because he will be celebrating his birthday tomorrow, and funds were low. I haggled with him, and offered a trade in, which is the usual case. He said he'd get my 5800 for 2,500. I asked him to lower the price to 7,000 and to increase the swao value of my phone to 3,500. Which brings it evens. I'd just add 3,500 for the upgrade. He said, we had a deal at 4,000. Since he was a trusted friend and had good deals previously, plus it was his birthday, I agreed. I asked my older sister if she had cash with her and she agreed to give me the 4,000 I was asking. Perfect. And so we decided to meet at our usual coffee haunt and the exchange took place. So now I have a spanking upgraded unit.

As expected, most of the usual retinue of friends were there at the coffee shop. One of them was a good friend Jarrah, with whom I had a little strain with, days back. No big deal really, just a bit of a crease and I was ready to smooth it over with today. She was asking if we could go grab dinner at Parajan, a local Tapsilog joint. The closest one was along Iznart street, near the YMCA Building. Since Mike, another friend, had a car, we three drove there after my mug of coffee.

I was in the car tinkering with my new phone and as we neared the place, we saw a clump of people gathered at our side of the road. Then we saw two people lying sprawled on the pavements! There was a vehicular accident, and a motorcycle lay some inches away. Instinctively, I scanned for rescue team, Emergency Crew or Red Cross Volunteers but none were in sight. Instinctively, my Medic training kicked in. I got out of the car and assessed the situation to determine what sort of help I could extend. I saw that both men were conscious, though one peed in his pants, and the other was clutching his chest. There was a little blood but I saw there was no need for CPR or any of that emergency care stuff. There were no Emergency Crew in sight, and someone flagged a vacant jeep so both of them could be brought to the nearest public hospital, which was in La Paz district.

I did what little I could to help by making sure they were properly lifted and carried to avoid aggravating any injury that they might have sustained. Since both were conscious, we were able to carefully lift them and got them on the jeep. Since I was mainly the one lifting/carrying both of them, one at a time, I also got into the jeep together with one tanod official to get them to the hospital. The owner of the karaoke joint nearby also followed in his motorbike as he was the one facilitating earlier.

As we arrived, one other ambulance was in the process of unloading a patient. We immediately asked for a stretcher, but it was the waiting time that was stretched instead. We told them we were concerned citizens bringing the victims for medical attention. N0 stretcher were being brought out. After almost an hour, somebody in a red shirt said the ER was fully packed and there were no beds. If we insist, the only place for them would be on the floor. He then suggested we take the two guys elsewhere. It not being our call since after all, upon bringing them in for medical attention, our job is done, and since both victims were conscious, we left it to them to decide. A few minutes later, another ambulance from a nearby town came and the patient was tended to. At first there were reporters doing bit in the hospital who tried making heads or tails of the whole thing, reporting live for the radio.Some half an hour more, a TV Camera and a reporter came and took footages, trying their best to interview the victims. A colleague from the same station I used to work at managed to get a few words from me, which wasn't that much because I really did not know what happened. My only concern was to bring them to the hospital for emergency care. Just like magic, a few more minutes later after the camera started rolling, a stretcher appeared, with a lone orderly. Finally the guy clutching his chest complaining of pain there and hardness of breathing was brought in. The other guy who was ambulatory by then got down the jeep on his own and walked in too.

I am just amazed at how almost blatantly the other hospital employee told us we could not be accommodated, suggesting we take these victims to a different hospital, lying through his teeth about being full and there being no stretchers available. I hated the fact that had these guys been in a more critical condition, the long wait could have been fatal. I hate the fact too, that the hospital, being a public hospital could refuse to admit these guys who were obviously in need of emergency medical attention, just because no folks (read: paying parties) were with them. I also hate it that the News Camera was still needed as some sort of scare-factor before they took out the friggin stretcher and admit these two guys, who most likely are still in the state of shock! Whatever happened to public service, the good samaritan law, and even the oaths that these hospital people swore by?

Finally, when they already got in, I saw a text message from Mike saying they followed me and was there at the parking lot waiting for me. We ended up buying pork barbecue and isaw in front of the hospital in lieu of the supposed Parajan dinner. We ended up taking our dinner and drove to the San Rafael access road and ate our dinner by the side street gutters.

It was one hell of a day, and if you have still not guessed which hospital it was with all the clues then ok, let me tell you. It was at the WVSU-Don Benito Hospital. Whew!

Asians in the Library

Kaloka lang ang Alexandra Wallace. Napanood ko sa youtube ang bilat. Nilait lait nya lang naman ang kultura ng mga Asyang. Kesyo daw tiga UCLA sha at nag aaral ng political science. Naiimbey daw sha kumvakit pag weekends eh more ang gorabelles ng mga jumag aneyk ng mga asyang sa apartment at maglalaba ipagsa-shopping, lulutuan at kung anek anek pa ng mga kamag-aneyk ang mga studyanteng Asyang. Eh gaga ka fala, ganun talaga kami teh! Servitude kami teh sa mga familyey gagah!

Tafos, nasa library nga daw sha nag aaral at nung malapit na daw sha magka Epifany eh bigla mag riring ang isang nyelpown at mag kukuda ang isang Asyang. Sabi pa ng bilat. Wooooohhhh!!! Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong! Gagang toh! Laitin ba ang lengwahe ng Asyang na mas matanda pa kesa sa markanong lengwahe na hiram hiram lang sa kung sa anek anek na lengwalalur?

Ang pinakanakakaloka, aba, di pa na kuntento ang hitad, at doon na talaga ako na jiniz de belen sa kanyey~ Aba'y pakialaman ba naman ang tsunami! Kesyo na iintindihan daw nya na nagka tsunami kayah lang nakaka disturbances daw sa Epiphany nya! Gaga! Sino ka ba sa kala mo si Chaka Khan na magkaka epiphany ka? Kalokah! Kailangan daw mag ka American manners ang mga Asyang. Gagang toh! Di ko ipupromote ang video nya kasi shinonggal na nya at kinlose ang channel nya pero kalat na sa youtube ang panlalait ng gaga. Instead, in my own way, itrak ang masasabi ko lang. Kung itrak ang mga Asyang na magchi-Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong sa library, gagah, magpapatayo ako ng sariling Library ko. Well, Music Library at least. Gagang bilat na toh! Honey you need to get laid. Nandun ang Epiphany na hinahanap mo.

Oh well... itrak na ang mga Asyang na felt ko maka Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong sa Library ko. Enjoy Batchoy Denizens. Pakisabuyan ng mainit init na batchoy ang hitad na bilat pag nakita nyo. Please lang!



Nung 2008 ko pa na feature ang Asyang na to kaya nangunguna sha




Love ko ang Song. Love ko na rin sha! Anuver!



Yummy lang sha! Ganda ng song. Atchaka, love nya daw ako. Kaya sha na talaga for now. Hehehehe. Gruff Chubby lang! Woof!


Kaya kay Alexandra Wallace, because I am a nice decent Filipino and Asian that my Mom raised well, with free laundry over the weekends, grocery shopping and all that shit, and growing up talking to my friends without any Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong thing, hindi ka pwede sa Library ko letche kah! Peace on the Batchoyan Library. Chos!

This is it!

This is it!

I have always been afraid to publish. Mostly because I have been afraid of the discriminating critics. There are times when I even stop myself from submitting to Folios and Anthologies. I don't know, maybe this is the writers version of stage-fright. And then, this year came.

I do not remember anymore how it started. I posted poems on my facebook notes and most of them took on the same vein. Erotica. I am originally a writer in Hiligaynon, and the poems I consider well crafted and those I love best are in the language, but from time to time, I also produce pieces in English and Filipino. The erotic poems are in English. Then, one of the poems I posted was featured in an online website by the Asia Writes Project. This gave me a deep feeling of satisfaction and affirmation as a writer.

As the facebook poem/notes continued to grow, I would often get comments. Why not publish a collection of poetry? As usual, my 'stage-fright' comes up. But this year, I might have overcome this. I decided, this is my year. Finally, I will pursue publication. I will live up to that title I use when I travel abroad. The one I place under 'Occupation' - author.

At this point, I have finished writing the 50 poems that will make up the compilation of the Erotic Poetry, and yes, I also have a working title for the book.

YES! Book! I am braving publishing my first ever Book! Under my own name, solo!

Whew! I feel overwhelmed and excited.

There is no turning back. I just pray that this will go well until the book is finally launched.

What comes next will be editing, reviewing, revising and rewriting the poems if needed. After which, I will meet with my photographer friend Babak Niaraki to brainstorm on the photos for the book. I intend the book to be a coffee table poetry book of sorts, with 50 poems and an accompanying photograph for each poem. Well, technically, since it is Erotica, it will be a bedside table book, then. After this, I am sending the manuscript to my Literary Mother, John Iremil E. Teodoro for further editing and critique. She will also have the honor of writing and Introduction to the Collection. After which, we will then be marketing the Folio to publishers. Whew!

For now, I will celebrate the collection's completion with unrestrained hibernation and a good nights sleep!

Oh by the way, the working title of the book is

"The Unfinished Phoenix Tattoo"
and other poems of Longing, Love and Lust
(Well, mostly, Lust)

Whew! I am ecstatic! Wish me luck Batchoy Denizens and pray
that this pushes through, well up until launching!

Epic F

And while at it, elsewhere in the lofty halls of Senate, another 'oh so brilliant I am dazed and dazzled' Senator has this to say.



Senate Bill 2639, authored by the highly intelligent Senator Lito Lapid, seeks to regulate and mandate that Billboards be either in English or Filipino only. If it be in a foreign language, it should contain the English or Filipino Translation. He says that signs in other languages 'alienate' the Filipinos. The Senator added, "It is incumbent upon the State to instill and maintain a sense of nationalism among dwellers... We, as Filipinos, should never be subjected to the alienation and seclusion that we are experiencing due to this phenomenon."

Brilliant, right? Now let's start at Binondo and Ongpin, where there is a proliferation of strange calligraphic signs. We don't know that the sign means 'restaurant' right? Or that it means 'internet cafe,' right? Oh and we are sooo alienated! Thank you so much, Senator!

Photo Credits:

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.pinoy-ofw.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/lito-lapid.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.pinoy-ofw.com/news/4357-senator-lito-lapid-seeks-50-postal-discount-ofw-families.html&usg=__XDw8Eo-zjAomVM8AU18TO2u9IZQ=&h=320&w=229&sz=16&hl=en&start=4&sig2=dSdq2L5rrQgG-xTKtULWcw&zoom=1&tbnid=TU_zvihNAUaW-M:&tbnh=118&tbnw=84&ei=H6E6TbDMJYK8cJ-P0IUH&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlito%2Blapid%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D579%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1

Fermentation

Maybe it's because some things need to be fermented before being dished out.

Maybe it's like poetry. When you grow older in the craft your poetry becomes less hysterical or verbose or loud.

Maybe it's self editorializing. The longer you blog, the more you tend to edit/gag yourself.

Maybe it's laziness. The writing it down gets so tiring that you do not want to bother anymore.

Maybe it's prioritization. There's so much going on yet there is nothing to do.

Maybe, it's maybeline.

For my loyal blog denizens who keep coming back, I'm sorry. My keyboard is on hiatus and the blog posts become harder to churn out. Thanks for sticking it out with the batchoyan. Don'tcha worry. I'm still around, and somethings bound to give in. It's gonna happen, happen someday says Liza Minnelli.

Meanwhile, happy January. I love you all

First Gift

I am not in the country, and I may not even have a Christmas in the country where I am now.

Therefore I doubt it that I would get any Christmas presents this year. Well not until I get back to the Philippines at least.

However, I got my very first Christmas Gift. The best, perhaps, tonight.

I rode a taxi (taksi) from my hotel in Jakarta to the nearest Starbucks Branch. I brought along my dilapidated laptop.

(The letter A key is non existent, and it is battered here and there) to update my emails and everything online. I know Starbucks here offer absolutely free Wi-Fi access.

Since my laptop is battered, the battery life is less than an hour. I plugged in an outlet but to my dismay, the converter plug I brought along wouldn't fit. Those that they have here are the round plugs. I have a converter but thing is, the plugs are recessed and circular. My converter was square and would not fit into the outlet.

There were two guys beside me who were starting to fix up their stuff. Obviously, they're done with web browsing and ready to call it a day. They saw me, and one of the guys had me borrow his converter. I declined because I saw that they were leaving. I thought I'd just get into an electronics shop (wherever that is, and good luck to the shop attendant's English speaking skills!) the next day to buy me one of those. Facebook could wait.

He said it was okay and he handed me the converter.

After fifteen minutes, I promptly returned the converter. I did not want to abuse the kindness and keep them waiting. They looked tired. Well, cutely tired. Yes, batchoy denizen, the converter plug guy IS chubby!

He said it was okay. They were starting to fix up and ready to leave. I promptly unplugged my laptop charger to return the plug but he smiled at me and said: "It's okay, you can have that. Merry Christmas!"

Imagine my happiness! Not that the converter plug was pricey or anything, but I was touched by the gesture, and from a stranger in a non-Christian country at that! It warmed my heart and I thanked him profusely! I will treasure this first Christmas Gift from an Indonesian Santa Claus. It just goes to show that kindness, love and good cheer knows no religion, nationality or borders.

Terimah Kasi to you Sir. I didn't evem get your name, and Merry Christmas Indeed!

Not So Ghosts of Exes Past (The After Death Chronicles Part 2)

JM's death brought more than just one ghost to the forefront.




To say that his passing away caused some kind of avalanche in my otherwise placid and boring life is an understatement. Some ghosts of the past came to haunt me as well. With the news and its confirmation, what comes next naturally is telling people that I know of, who might also know him that he is gone so that they too may be able to pay their final respects.

At first I was hesitant. The only two other person I know of and have contacts with in a way are all... well... exes. Before even braving to break the silence, I counseled with my trusted friends if I should do it. They echoed my sentiments that it has to be done, no matter what the frictions in the past I have with the living. After all, it was the Christian thing to do. Let the dead bury the dead so to speak. So I braved the rift.

Let's start with Ex #1. Well, technically, we weren't really exes so to speak. It was, at most, a passionate affair, but see, what makes it awkward is the fact that he was THE BIG CRASH. Doc Oinkie! Remember? The Manic Monday that never came to be? Oh yes! I still have his number. I tried to call. It rang forever. He was not picking up. So I texted.

Batchoy: Hi, Doc. I didn't want to bother you. I did not want to tell you through text, but you are not picking up. I just want you to know that JM passed away. His body lies in state at such and such Memorial Chapels. You might want to pay your final respects.

In a matter of minutes, my phone rang. It was doc. I can hear his soothing voice and my heart, as usual, leaped up to my throat. He has such an effect on me that yes, I must admit, I even had a hard on. Bad Batchoy! The eventual 'interview' ensued. Are you sure, what is the cause of death blah blah blah. And then...

Doc: And how are you?
Luis: (Shit!) I'm fine. No. I'm great! ( And still not able to get past that Monday that never came, you stinkin' lyin' b@st@rd you!) Never better.
Doc: Are you going to the chapel?
Luis: Ahmm, I have been there earlier, that's why I was able to confirm.
Doc: I might go. I want to go. Maybe tonight.
Luis: Please do, Doc.
Doc: Where will you be? Will you be free tonight?
Luis: Ahmmm ( Of course, I will be free if you ask me to be! Stupid!) Let me see.
Doc: I was hoping you'd go when I do. I wanted to see you too!
Luis: (Arggghh!) Sure, let's see what we can arrange. What time will you be going.

And so... I agreed to meet up with him. In the chapels.
Message received

Doc: You know I'm attached, right?
Luis: Yes. What has that got to do with JM?
Doc: Nothing. Just saying.
Luis: Don't sweat it, doc oinkee. I'll see you there.

I made sure he got there ahead of me. I don't wanna be kept waiting. Not this time.

I entered the chapel and saw him instantly. On the front rows near the casket. He was beside an oldish guy. He was chatting with JM's mom. I eyed him cautiously. God, he still looks as good as I remember him to be. And the guy beside him? Well, vanity and pride, my dear.

No contest.

He saw me. He motioned me to come sit beside him. I did a quick feel of my pulse. Surprisingly, no palpitations there. So I sat. Not much of catching up it was. He was very cautious around the boyfriend. Well, what did I expect? The exchange was clipped and careful. He asked me what my liaisons with JM was. If we dated, slept together, and all that jazz. I said yes. He sighed and I caught him whisper. 'Lucky guy!' I countered. 'Dead guy now!' He smiled. 'Still sharp and funny.' I did not want to look into his eyes. I did not want to interpret what I saw as a longing.

I kept checking my pulse. What is wrong with me? I can't seem to feel anything. What? No skip? No jitter? No big brass band? Well....

I left the room to have a ciggie. He followed suit. The boyfriend followed suit. Discomfort followed suit.

The night had to end. They had to get home because they have jobs the next day. I had to get home too. I walked him to the parking lot. Final goodbyes have to be said. I started extending my hand to shake his hands. He took my hand and pulled me to a tight hug. I heard him whisper. I missed you. Take care of yourself.

I thought, yeah, I have to take care of myself. No one does it for me.

I saw them get in to the car and drive away. I replayed the hug. Rechecked my pulse.

No response. NR.

Just like the result of the Elisa Test they did on JM, given his sexual preference and activities, they had to admit and be honest with their selves that such a possibility exists.

NR.

No reaction. Negative.

The way I tested these last few times. I do my Elisa's at least twice a year.

I slowly walked out of the funeral home.

NR

Another ghost exorcised. Another loss. Another grief.

The big crash crashed down!
No more kahuna.
The wave broke and the shore placid in the moonlight.

NR

Goodbye Doc Oinkie.

Photo Credits: http://boingboing.net/2009/10/06/exorcisms-vs-schizop.html

Excitedness

I'm kinda Excitedness for a few things. I dunno why but with the way things have been of late, it is not a wonder why these little things cause excitement, or excitedness . Here are a few of them.


Brief Sojourn in Iloilo

I was tempted to say 'going home' to Iloilo, but really, home is where the heart is, and it is a happy circumstance that for the last six months, Manila has been home for me. My heart is where I am at, so Iloilo is not really home. Nevertheless, I'm going back there for the yearly obligation/panata. My bestfriend Bryan's family own a santo that is used during the Good Friday procession in Roxas City, and year after year, eversince I started helping, I have been in charge of decorating the paso for the procession. I can say that countless blessings have been heaped upon me by the good Lord for my sacrifices, including backbreaking work, super pawisan under the lenten sun, cuts, bruises and what nots from the wires and the flowers. Dahil mas mura sa Dangwa ang bulaklak, dito na rin ako mamimili. Goodluck naman sa akin because I will be bringing flowers for the Holy Week kaya nga I'm taking the ro-ro bus. Here's a picture of how I singlehandedly decorated last year's paso. Here are a few pictures of last year's paso. At oo nga pala... di ko alam pumuntang dangwa...help?


Last year it was egg mums, large white anthuriums, dyed in blue chrysanthemums, violet malaysian mums and violet dendrobium orchids that we used. This year, I wanted to use peonies, alstromerias and cymbidiums. Goodluck sa pagbubudget! At wish ko lang matunton ko kung san man yang Dangwa na yan... HELP!

Pretty Peonies... they are also sometimes called Paper Roses

Love the detail on the petals... so fierce

Mukhang mamahalin... sana makamura sa Dangwa at pasok sa budjei

And you guessed it right... pink ang color motiff for the paso this year. Excited much!
Syempre pa, I will be there at least for moreor less one week. Tatambay ulit ako sa kapihan na tinatambayan ko, hahagilapin ang mga bandang jinajaman ko, kakain ng batchoy, seafood, and evrathing. The best thing I'm looking forward to is a dip in the beaches of Panay. I swear, I will go to Guimaras if skeds permit. There is a sliver of sand in my heart that longs for the lick of salty waters. Kung si mother john pa, kailangan maalatan ang buntot ng sirena. Since I'm his 'daughson' namana at nananalaytay din sa dugo ko ang pagkasirenang yun, I am basically a 'sirenette' kaya I need to dip my dorsal fins din every so often. After all, one month ang LOA ko from work kaya naman happiness.

WORK and Tengga sa Bahay

Speaking of work shempre pa, update nga pala. Nag file ako ng immediate resignation ko the last time I went in for work. Sabi naman ng Unit Manager ko, valid naman daw na immediate sya at mawi-waive ang 30 day notice rule dahil nga medical ang rason. Di ba nga meron akong butas sa aking tympanic membrane? Di ko lang mapa opera kasi di sya covered ng HMO dahil pre-existing daw. A great thing happened actually. Instead of accepting m resignation, they gave me a proposal. Papasok ako for at least one more week, then by March 5, pinag fa-file ako ng leave to use up my remaining VL's. Tapos right after, binigyan ako ng LOA for medical reasons for a month, hanggang April 14. Kinagat ko na.

1. makukuha ko na agad ang VL credits ko dahil gagamitin ko.
2. Mareregular pa ako.
3. At dahil naregular nga ako, by then, magagamit ko na ang card ko to cover my tympanoplasty,which I intend to do when I get back from Iloilo.
4. Pwede pa din akong mag stop ng work after the operation kung kinakailangan.
5. Susweldo pa ako for the next cut-off at by the next cut-off's baka makuha ko naman agad ang prime pay na pwedeng mag reflect na sa payroll.

Therefore, tengga ako sa bahay at naka leave lang. No work, no pay. Hehehehe. One more thing is this.Hindi rin ako maklabas labas at maka galagala dahil nga nagtitipid at dahil ampangit ng mga kagat kagat sa balat ko.

Nanganak kasi ang pusa sa kisame namin. Dahil dun, yung mga fleas nila dun sa taas nahuhulog sa amin sa baba. Sobrang kati at sobrang dami kong kagat. Pwede na maglaro ng connect the dots. Para akong nagka tigdas kaya dyahe makipagmeet up. Kahit mainit super jacket orlong sleeves ako. Bwiset! Sarap sunugin ng mga taenang pusang mga yan. I know that these are cat flea bites kasi nangyari na di sakin to before nung nasa LB ako when my ex had this cat din na me mga pulgas. I look so dirty now and I am so sure that I can say goodbye to landian at the beach for this summer. Whew!


CLASH




This one excites me na din. I have seen trailers of the movie. I remember nung bata ako, classic na pelikula to na lagi lagi at paulit ulit na napapanood sa Channel12. IBC. This is the stuff that childhood memories were made of. Dahil jan, I vowed na kahit magastos, this deserves to be watched in the movie houses. Anyone for a movie date?

Finally

Nagulantang ako nung nag check ako ng kalendaryo. Oh to the Em of the GEE!!!
Pramis? Anumpetcha na! Shet! Ilang araw na lang, madadagdagan na naman ang edad ng Batchoy boi. Sana madaming gifts. Hehehehe... kayo jan... me paypal din ako pde din cash!

With all these, I'm so excitedness!

Photo Credits:

http://www.twelve22.org/2007/06/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cumbria/content/image_galleries/july_2005_gardening_gallery.shtml?4
http://www.flower-arrangement-advisor.com/hand-tied-posy-bouquet.html
http://movies.ign.com/dor/objects/41265/clash-of-the-titans/images/clash-of-the-titans-2010-20091211065924947.html