Thursday, April 14, 2011
Jarrah, Eden Von, Apol, Sheena, Freenie:
Before I start, a few preliminaries is in order.
First, I write this as a labor of love. I have prayed and asked for guidance if this is
the right thing to do.
Second, this is the one time and the only way I know to intervene for you.
Should you take these against me, that is your choice. I shall only do this once
and if this too, fails, then I do not know what else to do.
Third, I have no personal interests whatsoever to the issue. I just can't take it in my heart
to see you degenerate and not get your acts together. I am in no way perfect. I too have my own faults, but if you could only see things the way I see them, perhaps you would understand why I'm trying to save what needs to be saved.
With that dispensed, let me proceed.
How did you guys meet? You met because of one common tie. The craft. I know your practices vary. Some may be even directly contradictory with each other, but that did not stop you from being a cohesive group. I know I am not even your original mentor. I do not even delude myself with the thought that you consider me as one. I am not even an elder. Some of you may have surpassed my practice and some of you I even trust and depend on for high expertise on certain areas. I am not necessarily wiser or better. I am happy with being your 'older brother,' of sorts.
I saw how you bonded together. How you cheered for each others success. How you pained for each others failures. I have seen how you guys grew together, how you stuck it out for each other. How you allowed each other elbow room. Yes there were disagreements, but you always, always found a way to harmonize. You concentrated on your similarities instead of your differences and have always treated each other with love and respect. That is why, for the past ten years, you have been together, still together. Every now and then, someone drops off and out, but you always looked after each others backs. You were there for each other. I do not think that such a friendship naturally occurs. You worked for it. You sacrificed a lot for it. Great friendships don't just happen. You make it happen.
Now it's essential to touch base on the issue at hand. I have heard, overheard and 're-heard' the issue again and again, from all possible perspectives and all the tails that accompanied it, until it became pregnant, giving birth to more and more issues. Naturally, at first I thought it was something you could 'weather off.' I was confident about the bond you guys had. I still hope I am right. I honestly do not care who is right, who is wrong, because honestly, each one of you has a valid point and each one has the right to react the way you did, oh, and yes, each one of you has contributed to the worsening of the situation.
Now, what exactly am I trying to get at or achieve with this? Simple. I want you to simmer down. Please think beyond the box. Think beyond your own petty issues and selfish emotions. I know that is a high and mighty thing to do and a tall order, but if you can just please give it a shot. Okay, fine, what I really want you to do is to just drop it. Drop the issue or with an 's' if you please. It is a deadly train that keeps getting longer and longer. Now if you can just drop it. Just like that.
Of course you can't just do that, can you?
That is why, I want you to take the chance for this Holy Week. If you could remember what lesson 101 is, please try to think back. Meditation. Give it time. Meditate. Purposeful silence and awareness. I know it is easy to say, 'so what, I don't need this friendship'. Yes, you don't need it. I agree. That exactly is your pride speaking. And that is what I call on silence is for. With so much anger, pride and hurt, love is forgotten. Love, after all, speaks in whispers and in soft voices that you have to strain your ears to hear it.
What's in it for me? Nothing. I can continue to be friends with you all in a personal level, devoid of the group or the bond, but it will never be the same. Ten years is an awfully long time invested to waste just like that. I know why you are so angry and hurt. That is because you have loved. You loved each and everyone that this hurt is borne out of a misunderstood love between all of you.
And so I ask you to meditate. Clear your thoughts and your hearts. Only when you have been wiped free of prejudices and burdens that you will be able to successfully come together to thresh out your differences. In fact, when you have achieved illumination and clarity, you would do exactly what I was hoping you would do. Drop everything.
As I have said, this is the one first and last time that I will be intervening for you. If this does not work, then I do not know what else would. I am hoping that you all find it in your heart to feel that bond that all of you have. That strong link. That power of friendship. That brotherhood/sisterhood. Order of the inner circle. Circle. No sides. Equal. Eternal.
As I have said, I may not be the most qualified person to say all these, but I feel that being older, at least age wise, I have to do something before this all end up in rubble and ruins. Exactly because I see the friendship and love that you guys worked so hard to achieve.
With these, I bless thee, all under the moon, the god and the goddess, by the four corners and the realms beyond. Merry we meet, merry, we shall part. Blessed be!
Love and Light,
Uriel Pyreaus Dominus
PS: If you do not see what I see with the words I said, then maybe, just maybe, a picture would say what remains unsaid.
Friday, April 1, 2011
The Batchoy Boi turns a year older! Happy Birthday to me!
The party’s over. I had it days before my actual birthday. The few remaining celebration for the day were also over and done with – coffee, dinner and then some. The deluge of text messages trickled about three hours before and those posted on my facebook wall have all been replied to. So I am left to myself. I wanted it this way – for me to be with myself for the remaining hours of my birthday. I wanted to celebrate the last trickles with the most important person in my life – my own self. So there I was at a bar. The band was still playing. I bought a bottle of shandy. I don’t drink really, and I just wanted to take it slow and easy and just be with myself. I stood by the counters sipping my drink. I saw you look at me. You were with your friends. There were six of you. Let’s just say, you were my type; Chubby flubby, fair, chinkiy eyes, cute lips and ahmmm… dimpled cheeks. Just perfect. Except for one thing – your girl's arms were wrapped all over your arms. Oh well. continue listening to the band. You continue staring. I tried catching your stares but you would casually look away when I try to. Your girl clings obliviously.
Inevitably, the band called out my name. They greeted me. How could they not. I’m a band boy. They called me over to jam a song or two. I feel you look at me as I approach the stage. I sang a couple of songs. I’m used to this. As I said, I’m a band boy. I know you were staring at me while I was performing. I could tell. I was looking your way. After my songs, I got back to my spot. You were scribbling something. Then, you handed it to the waiter. Two songs later, I was called back by my band friends. Somebody requested a song, and I was requested to sing it. I was in good moods, so I gladly obliged my friends. I am so sure it was from you. I saw you smiling as I was singing the two songs you requested. Luckily, I knew the songs. When I finished, I was surprised to see a fresh bottle of shandy and a plate of food on the counter. There was also a slice of cake. The waiter informed me it was for me. I said I didn’t order these. He said it’s on the house. I doubt it. This must have come from you. I saw you smile. Your girl still held your hand. I smiled deep inside. Well…Happy Birthday to me.
A few minutes later, your group left. Oh well… about half an hour later, I went to the comfort room. I went inside one of the cubicles. When I finished peeing, you were there inside the room too. No one else was inside. I smiled at you. You smiled back and said ‘Happy Birthday singer boy. Great performance.’ I said ‘thank you, did the food and drink and cake come from you?’ You just smiled. ‘Why are you alone on your birthday?’ you asked. I said I just want to be and asked ‘where’s your friends, I thought you left earlier?’ You looked into my eyes and gave me a warm smile and said ‘Isn’t it obvious why I came back? You looked lonely. No one should be lonely on his birthday night.’ I thought, goodness, I feel thrilled and this is a badly written screenplay of some cheap Pinoy romantic flick. Where the hell were the people who were supposed to come in and use the toilets? This is so contrived! But your chinito eyes, they stir a longing in me. I responded, ‘but your girlfriend…’ I wasn’t able to finish my question because somebody came in. We tried to act casually.
The guy went straight to one cubicle and as soon as the door latched, you grabbed me, hugged me tight and pushed me back into the nearest cubicle. Your eyes danced with mischief as your tongue probed mine. I got instantly stiff. We kissed and kissed and kissed and we heard the door to the cubicle unlock and the main door open and latch close. You grabbed me. We exited the comfort room. I was blinded by the rush and you led me to your parked car. I knew it was crazy but your hands alternated between the shift stick and my crotch. We ended up in a motel and when finally you were about to suck my stiff member, you paused, looked at me with a silly grin and said, ‘happy birthday band boy,’ and you took it all in.
It was wild, it was passionate and you sapped me dry. We did it all over the room - on the bed, in the toilet, in the showers, by the table, and I came all over too - in your mouth, in your palms, on your chest, inside you. Exhaustion got the better of us and we fell asleep. I could remember hearing the telephone ring. It must be the front desk informing us that our time is over. You picked it up. I was waiting for a nudge from you to get up and get dressed but when you put the phone down it was your warm hug enveloping me that I felt. I slipped into blessed exhausted sleep.
I woke up to the warmth in my crotch, and I saw you already mounted and impaled, pumping up and down. Time didn’t matter. There is the urgency of this lust, perhaps the last one, before we finally get dressed and go. When we came, I asked you what time it was. You said it doesn’t matter. You had us booked for the rest of the day. You smiled as you lay down beside me. I grabbed a smoke. Then you nibbled my ears and whispered ‘happy birthday’ I smiled and said, ‘not anymore. My birthday expired last night.’ You smiled and kissed me saying, ‘no, not you. Me. Happy Birthday to me. Today is my birthday.’ I smiled and allowed you to hug me. In a few minutes you fell asleep on my chest. I watched your cute face deep in slumber and I thought to myself. Darn, what’s your name again? I don’t think we ever asked each other that. Oh well, happy birthday. In an hour, I will wake you up by pumping into you! One good turn deserves another.