THE BAR
I have been dating in the Metro. Well, yes I do. I still manage to snag a few glances, a few gawks and a few smiles from across the bar. Charm tells me to quit it. She thinks I should stop seeing people I meet at a bar, online, or from the gym –the last one not being applicable even, because I do not even know what a gym is. Is it even edible, or does it go well with Worcestershire sauce or Kikoman? Now where am I supposed to meet them? Power books? At a tiangge in St. Francis Square? At an ukay ukay in Cubao? She said that there can not possibly be a serious guy/girl that I’d be meeting from these places, and if I do, I should not be expecting anything serious from these people, which was what I was gunning for. I know! Classic rules right? I understand that the point is not to go to a bar looking for a serious relationship. Well I do not! In fact I do not go anywhere looking for a serious relationship. I do not go to O bar to find someone to marry.
I have only one question about that rule though. If we are not to be able to meet someone serious from a bar, then what do you call me? I am decent. I am nice. I do want a serious relationship, and yes, I go to bars. Does that mean, then, that if you happen to meet me in a bar, struck a conversation with me, found me cute and hot, got interested in the possibilities with me; should it be taken against me and destroy both our chances just because we happened to have met in a bar? See my point? There must be someone decent out there, and I wouldn’t really mind meeting him or her in a bar as long as I do meet him or her, and soon too, please. Maybe that’s why we are conditioned to play around with people we meet in bars, thus becoming the undesirables ourselves, in our dealings with them as much as we put them down to be. We become the jerks and jerkettes to people whom we have met in a bar, just because, we are covered with the ready clause of ‘Well what did you expect? You met at a bar!’ I think that is convoluted. And just to remind you, Romeo met Juliet in a party; well some medieval equivalent of a bar, I guess. Anthony, I’m sure, met Cleopatra in one of those Roman Bacchanalian festivities, which sound like a party to me. I know! They are both tragic love pairs that ended in despair but they are great examples of that great one true love, met at not exactly your typical Sunday brunch. Then again, Cinderella met Charming in a royal shindig, too.
As for the me dating part, I have a question. Which lie would be more terrible? Someone saying ‘I have a boyfriend’ even when that is not true just because he/she is really not that into you, or someone saying ‘I do not have a boyfriend’ when in fact he does just because he/she really likes you despite the fact? Charm says, it’s the first lie, simply because he does not like you. I don’t get it, really. Why lie? As to the first one, we met through common friends of a friend’s friend. Keep in mind that I do have a very few friends here in Manila. He was nice, he was, well, OK looking, looks decent, good job, intelligent, good sense of humor, and, well, nice - except for the fact that he lied. He said he had a boyfriend. While I appreciate the fact that he did not want to hurt me with the truth that he is more interested in having a relationship with himself and making time to enjoy his own self and ‘me’ time, I do not understand the reason why he had to lie. As if I’m going to break down and mourn and lament the fact of his rejection. Like duh! I could just have said, well if that’s the case, then go buy yourself a journal for your own private relationship, a full length mirror, lots of lube and a dildo. I could have even given him tips on how to plan the perfect date with himself, without him knowing about the plans he made for himself. Sounds convoluted, right? But hey, any relationship is hard work. Even the one you have with yourself.
The second one is another classic. We met at a party. YJ was able to cajole me out of my hole and in his generosity, invited me to tag along and crash with his friends while they were having a party in a bar near where I live. Since the bar was near and I did not really have any plans for the night, I agreed. To make the long story short, I liked someone in his company, and to make it even shorter, we kissed in the men’s room. I was with Charmita that night, and what bothers me is that he kept on asking Charmita if I was single. If this was supposed to be just a random kissing spree with a stranger, well, cute stranger at least, then why all the ‘are you single’ questions? God, this one was a bit confused and confusing, I should say. He said he did not want people to see us kissing, so he pulled me into the elevator and went up and down the three floors almost twenty times. When the elevator doors opened and we got out to get back to the party inside, he grabbed me and kissed me passionately, while people were coming out of the bar, some of them, his fiends. WTF! He said something like ‘Please don’t fall in love with me.’ HUH? So I asked. Why? You have someone? I will keep that in mind. Then he lied. He said, ‘No. I’m single!’ I really did not plan to fall in love with him. Well, at least, not yet. I did want to see where this will lead us, though. How I found out the lie was when YJ texted me asking me to pretend that I did not know he has a boyfriend. He said the guy made him promise in the cab not to tell me that he has a boyfriend. Why? I did not have to pretend I did not know! I really did not know! Again I just do not get it. If he likes me and my kisses set him on fire, why lie? I could make a one time exception and give him a night of debauchery, you know. Just sex!
That is what I hate about the whole deal with both situations. If they really do not want to go serious, why lie? I am a man with an eye for a good deal. If they just wanna play around, I can be a better playmate if I am made aware of the rules, you know! Its not as if I am gonna throw myself on their feet and ask them to reconsider. Yes, I may be someone who wears his heart out on his sleeves but I am not the one to throw it down on the floor and ask them to please kindly step on it! One thing is for sure, I love myself. I may be someone who believes in love and that on true thing, but I am not stupid!
Now, Mr. Having a relationship with myself starts to ask me to go out for coffee dates and I’m wondering if that would not make himself jealous of him taking me out on a date. Mr. Elevator Action on the other hand, keeps giving me dropped calls, and when talking with me, does it ever so carefully as if making sure no one would hear him call me, and still texts my best friend with pathetic reasons why he can’t see me and continue the hot action that I am sure, left him with blue balls that night. I did ask him to come home with me, but they had drinking plans at their condo and it was too much for Charmita and I to tag along, you know. And as for me I went to Malate last Sunday, got picked up by a hot chubs who looks like a fattened up Akihiro Sato, slept over at his condo and while he was asleep, I got up for a pee, and got surprised by his house mate who was also a chub who looked a bit like Bong Revilla when he smiles and his eyes disappear. But at that moment, his eyes were nowhere from disappearing while he was checking out my pecker. I’m sure, it was the Sapphire hoop he was fascinated with, but when he pulled me to his bedroom, I knew that was not the case. It was dark in there. At breakfast, they kept beaming at each other with knowing smiles, and I did not want to wait out for an invitation for a threesome over desserts. As I was taking the cab home, I thought to myself: this is exactly why I do not like myself when I am single. I have officially become a harlot, and as another dropped call from Mr. Elevator Action and a text from Mr. Having a relationship with myself came, I prayed really hard for the one true thing, to please, come and find me, or be found by me real fast - even if it has to be in a bar where that would happen!
Photo Credits:
http://www.spitz.co.uk/images_press/Venue/VenueBar.JPG
http://www.jerrystocking.com/clustercalls/images/pinocchio1.gif
http://endtimepilgrim.org/harlot48.jpg
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