As If
By Luis Batchoy
Just for tonight.
Let me pretend
I am in love.
Let me just dance
The blues
And the summer heat
Away.
As if
I have found
What I have waited for
All my life.
So as not to be blinded
By the lights
Let me close my eyes.
So take me
And dance
Real close
As if
There is
Only you
And me
And the dance floor.
Come on now
Just for tonight
As if
This is
Forever.
Si Chris Brown kasi eh!
Forever
(Chris Brown)
Intro:
1, 2, 3, 4..
Hey (eh)
Forever
Hey (eh)
Forever
Verse 1:
Its you, and me
Movin at the speed of light into eternity (yeah)
Tonight, is the night
To join me in the middle of ecstasy
Feel the melody and the rhythm of the music around you (around you)
Bridge:
Ima take you there, Ima take you there
So don't be scared, I'm right here, ya ready?
We can go anywhere
Go anywhere
But first, its your chance
Take my hand
Come with me
Chorus:
Its like I waited my whole life
For this one night
Its gonna be me you and the dance floor
Cuz we only got one night
Double your pleasure
Double you fun
And dance forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever (forever)
Ever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever ever ever
Forever on the dance floor
Ah basta. Tonight lang, kunyari, in lab ako. Walang kokontra! don't ask me 'with whom', coz I don't know either. And like I really mean it, jst for tonight, let me say this.
I love you!
As if...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
A Poem and a Quiz
Masaya ako. Feeling ko kasi, napaka productive ko ngayong mga araw. Paano naman kasi, isa ako sa mga taong nag ta-thrive sa 'pressure.' Pressured sumulat para ihabol ang mga loose poetry studies to be a coherent collection for the Palanca. Malapit na kasi ang deadline. Mabuti na lang at may nag aasikaso na ng mga notary and certificate of originality na yan. Kagabi was a burst of pure inspiration. Malandi ang muse at nakabuo kami ng folio na balak ko isali sa bagong kategorya na kabubukas pa lang sa Palanca: Tulang isinulat para sa mga bata. Heto ang carrier single. Chez! Enjoy!
AKO ANG BIDA
Ni Luis Batchoy
Ako ang bida.
Ako ang pinakamaganda.
Bago lagi ang damit ko at sapatos.
Sa akin ay wala nang nakakaungos.
Ako ang bida.
Ako ang laging nangunguna.
Mga gamit ko ay mamahalin.
Wala nang tatalo sa akin.
Ako ang bida.
Kinaiinggitan ng iba,
Sikat at pinaguusapan,
Sa buong paaralan.
Liban na lang pag may miting ang PTA
O di kaya ay tuwing Family Day.
Dahil si Nanay, nasa ibang bansa
Hayun, ang namamayagpag ay si Yaya.
Siguro mahuhulaan nyo kung ano ang tema ng buong koleksyon. Mamya, susuyuin ko ulit ang musa para makipagtalik sa aking hiraya, para naman maayos ko na yung isang kwentong hindi matapos tapos, at sana, maisulat ko na din ang matagal nang makulit na Creative Non Fiction sa utak ko. Wish me luck Batchoy Denizens. Pag nanalo naman kasi ulit, luluwas ako dyan sa Le Manille. Gusto nyo din yun di ba? Hehehehe.
Speaking of Muses, I found a quiz online... Ito ang resulta ko
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Kung feeling muse ka rin, click mo ang quiz dito.
Photo Credits:
http://theclothes.blogspot.com/2007_09_01_archive.html
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Star_Ouro.svg
http://rdrussell.wordpress.com/
Monday, April 20, 2009
Ten little haynaku's
Sampung mga bagay bagay na nangyari simula sabado hanggang sa kasalukuyan. Sampung mga tao, sampung mga balita, sampung mga realizations. Wala lang. Ten!
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Magulong barkada... nasa likod si ulam litol brother
Kailangan pa ba ng Caption?2. Cousins pala si ex at si W, at naikwento nya ang 'masaklap' na nakaraan naming dalawa. Errrr... In defense naman, sinabi ko na we parted ways ammicably. Ayaw nya nun, pero kasi, I felt we were gouing nowhere, and I felt that I was a confussion for him. That time andami nyang inaatupag. Trabaho, pamilya, pagaaral. Ayokong maging kasiraan at maging kahati sa mga prayoridad nya. Chos! Truth of the matter is, ayoko lang sa jowa na ni hindi makatext kahit minsan sa isang araw. Bago pa ma uwi sa malalang problema, mabuti pang maghiwalay na habang civil pa. Na mention ulit ni W ang pag uwi ni ex sa May 18. Boto si cousin na maging kami ulit ni ex. May trabaho na nga ngayon si ex, pero sumasakay naman sa barko. I don't like! Oh well ulit. haynaku, anong petsa na ba? hehehehe
Mauulit ba muli?
4. Sabi ni Rex, hindi ko lang daw kasi alam kung ano ang ginagawa ni Hey kay W. Nahuli daw nilang dalawa ni W si Hey na nagloloko. Nakikipag orgy daw si Hey. Pinapaikot daw ni Hey si W. Pinapaalis daw at pinapalayas ni Hey si W sa bahay nya. Etc etc etc. Kung nakikita daw ni Rex na masaya si W kay Hey, hindi naman daw sya eentra pa. Ayoko na sumagot. Mali pa rin. HAYNAKU!
5. Nandun ang markanong liasion officer dati nung BPO where I ramped up. Umamin si markanong bosing na sya talaga ang rason kumbakit nagkandaleche leche ang lahat. Nagsinungaling daw sya. Tama daw ako. Mali daw sya at mali ang ginawa nya. Mali ang pinagkatiwalaan nya dahil in the end, pinagkanulo din sya ng mga kinunsider nyang kaibigan, at ako ang nagsasabi ng tutoo. Ayoko na isipin. Forgotten na yun. I know I'm right. He wans to put everything behind us and asked me if we could be friends again. I agreed. I have already placed everything behind me, including him and his friendship. haynaku, please lang!
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Gwapong bata. di ko alam anong nangyari pag laki. Hehehehe Happy Birthday Mootch! Labyu pre!
May Sequel. Abangan!
8. Antagal ko na din palang single. Nagkita kami ng aking kindred spirit na si Mykus. Mag sicelbrate daw kami ng Beltane, and he wants me to be there for the rituals. Mag aalay na daw kami talaga kay Demeter dahil hihingi na talaga daw kami ng jowa. Letche naman kasi eh. Haynaku, kailangan pa ba talagang sumayaw sayaw paikot sa May Pole?
9. Gaga talaga si YJ! Nag ym kami at sinabi nyang magpapakamatay daw sya dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman nya. Na alarm ako dahil seryoso ang gaga. Buti na lang me numero pa ako ni Maine. Tinect ko at binagabag ang lahat ng pwede kong mabagabag para lang matignan sya kung ok lang sya at siguruhing walang masamang mangyayari sa kanya. Napapanic pa din naman pala ako, at pinaiyak pa ako ng gaga! Haynaku! Sa susunod na gawin mo yan talaga, ipagdadasal na lang talaga kita, gaga ka!
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In fairness, nag shave na ako kanina!HAYNAKU!
Photo Credits:
http://noisydecentgraphics.typepad.com/design
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ex-zeichen.svg
http://www.websterindustries.com/page242.html
http://www.sodahead.com/user/profile/1079108/lcpl-william-smith/
http://www.myspace.com/deejayangelx
http://www.enchantedmoon.org/sabbats.htm
Friday, April 17, 2009
A Few Things on My Mind
First of all
Maraming maraming salamat sa lahat ng bumoto at sumuporta sa blog na ito. Nanalo po ang Batchoy Boi bilang Rainbow Bloggers Philippines' Blog of the Week for Week 7. Kalokah! I'm the Rainbow blog for the holy Week! Its my first evah online blog award! Happiness! Sana merong bumper sticker or logo na pwedeng ikabit at ipagmalaki sa blog na to. Hehehehe. Salamat sa lahat, lalo na kay Kiel na mahal ako at handang mandaya for me. I lourve you all!
Nakapagpyansa na ako. I look good in my mug shots. Hehehehehe
Naiinis pa rin ako sa fact na pwedeng manyari na mahulugan ka ng warrant of arrest na hindi ka man lang nakatanggap ng subpoena, summonses or nakapag file man lang ng counter affidavits mo. Caught din ako between filing counter charges, such as perjury sa hinayupak na ta(x)i driver na yon. Arraignment was set on May 27, but the other part of me says, Motion to dismiss na, para wag na humaba. Oh well...
-------------------------------------------------
Second
Halos lahat ng mga iba ibang grupo ko ay exciting ang mga developments sa buhay.
Rex at W : Magbubukas ang bagong bar sa sabado, at pinipilit si Rex na pumunta. Nagsabi kay Rex kung pwedeng maging "bespren" sila. KALOKAH! Si Rex nasa Roxas, uuwi ng Sabado at lunes, lilipad papuntang Pagadian. Jet Setter!
Si Dawn ay na diagnose na merong health concrn pero buti na lang maagang na diskubre kaya ayos lang din. Nakipagharutan sa isa pang friendship na younger brother ng isang Ex ko dati, nag iinarte na ayaw na daw sa games at may bagong blog post after forever.
Si Bing ng Thursday group ay missing in action. Na demote sa trabaho dahil sa isang unfortunate kapalpakan, pero masaya poa din dahil bumalik na si Tina dun sa parlor na yun at sya nang manager pumalit kay Bing. Happiness pa din. Hindi na nagpapakita sa Thursdates si Bing dahil 'nahihiya' ang lola. Artichoke ah.
Si Pet at Zelle ay nagkatuluyan na dahil na din sa walang awang pambabara ko kung bakit sila nag iinarteng dalawa pa. Turns out ako ang not so fairy godfather nilang dalawa. Haynax! Matchmakers never find their own match nga ba?
Iiwanan na ako ni Panyero dahil tutulak na ng Manila para mag review sa Bar. Sushalan ang lolo dahil sa Ateneo nag enroll. Mamimiss ko ang letche, pero nagyayayang puntahan ko sa Manila sa May... Why not! Le Manille Denizens, wait lang, babalik ang batchoy boi jan.
Si Perlas naka T.R.O. Sa loob ng dalawang bwan , hindi sya pwedeng uminom. Under "Friends Arrest" ang lolang lasenggera.
Si Geloy ay nasali sa listahan ng Provincial Finalists for the Metrobank Most Outstanding Teachers Award! Taray ng lola mo! I am so proud of you and I am praying na manalo ka neng! Aylabyah!
Iiwanan na din ako ni Mother John. Tumanggap na ng teaching load ang nanay ko at babalik na sa La Salle jan sa Manila. Mamimiss ko ang nanay ko, at sure na bibisitahan ko rin jan sa Manila kaya baka mapapadalas na ang pagluwas ko jan. I love you Mother.
-------------------------------------------
Third
Naloloka ako. Andami kong dapat isulat. Madaming dapat tignan, i-edit at iayos. Magsusubmit pa ako at aayusin ang entries ko for the Palanca. Pagkatapos ko magpyansa ay sumaglit ako sa Museo kahapon. Nalaman ko kay lola Zafiro na namatay na sa katandaan ang Agila sa bahay nila. Nakalulungkot. Ngayon, buntis ako sa storyang makulit. Gusto ko syang isualt. Working Title: "Patay na Ang Agila." Metaphorical ang 'pagkamatay' at ang 'agila'. hindi pa buo ang storya kaya natuturete ang utak ko sa ngayon. For now, I know that the Agila sa Bahay ng Agila nila Zaffy ang magiging cultural springboard ng storyang to, and it will have a dark gay character.
Sa mga writing jobs ko naman, kinailangan ko basahin ulit ang Dracula ni Bram Stoker. Classic talaga ang librong to! Nalulula ako sa writing style ni Bram. Epistolary ang style. Hinahaplos naman ako ng kalungkutan sa napaka lungkot na linya ni Count Dracula sa libro. Eto yun:
"I am no longer young, and my heart, through weary years of mourning over the dead, is not attuned to mirth. Moreover, the walls of my castle are broken. The shadows are many, and the wind breathes cold through the broken battlements and casements. I love the shade and the shadow, and would be alone with my thoughts when I may." - Count Dracula, Bram Stoker's Dracula
Sad no?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally
Sometimes I think we tend to over intellectualize things. Madami sa mga sinusundan kong blog ang nag iintellectualize ng mga kung ano anong mga bagay, from Top and Bottom, to Sex as politics at kung anu ano pa. I enjoy the intellectual discourse, kaso mdami din naman ang sweeping generalizations, at sa lagi kong kino quote na sabi ni Dr. Margarita Go-Singco Holmes na "Let us do away with labellings because it hurts." Kaya hindi na lang din ako nag co-comment dahil dinudugo ako ng masyadong matalinong pagkaka discuss nila ng mga punto nila. Ang tatalino nila, shet, nakakahiya. Hehehehehe. Meanwhile, I found this video, kaya ito na ang sagot ko. Medyo simplistic sya kung iisp-isipin at medyo shallow na din ang sagot pero tingin ko tama sya. Ganun lang ka simple yun. Kasi nga, napaka diverse natin. To start with, iba iba tayo kasi. Ito sya, makinig kayo.
Ang paborito ko sa sinabi nya
"And yes, you can be Gay, and find other gay men obnoxious!" Taray!
Meanwhile. maliligo na muna ako and prepare for the night. Coffee beckons, and I heed the call!
Maraming maraming salamat sa lahat ng bumoto at sumuporta sa blog na ito. Nanalo po ang Batchoy Boi bilang Rainbow Bloggers Philippines' Blog of the Week for Week 7. Kalokah! I'm the Rainbow blog for the holy Week! Its my first evah online blog award! Happiness! Sana merong bumper sticker or logo na pwedeng ikabit at ipagmalaki sa blog na to. Hehehehe. Salamat sa lahat, lalo na kay Kiel na mahal ako at handang mandaya for me. I lourve you all!
Nakapagpyansa na ako. I look good in my mug shots. Hehehehehe
Naiinis pa rin ako sa fact na pwedeng manyari na mahulugan ka ng warrant of arrest na hindi ka man lang nakatanggap ng subpoena, summonses or nakapag file man lang ng counter affidavits mo. Caught din ako between filing counter charges, such as perjury sa hinayupak na ta(x)i driver na yon. Arraignment was set on May 27, but the other part of me says, Motion to dismiss na, para wag na humaba. Oh well...
-------------------------------------------------
Second
Halos lahat ng mga iba ibang grupo ko ay exciting ang mga developments sa buhay.
Rex at W : Magbubukas ang bagong bar sa sabado, at pinipilit si Rex na pumunta. Nagsabi kay Rex kung pwedeng maging "bespren" sila. KALOKAH! Si Rex nasa Roxas, uuwi ng Sabado at lunes, lilipad papuntang Pagadian. Jet Setter!
Si Dawn ay na diagnose na merong health concrn pero buti na lang maagang na diskubre kaya ayos lang din. Nakipagharutan sa isa pang friendship na younger brother ng isang Ex ko dati, nag iinarte na ayaw na daw sa games at may bagong blog post after forever.
Si Bing ng Thursday group ay missing in action. Na demote sa trabaho dahil sa isang unfortunate kapalpakan, pero masaya poa din dahil bumalik na si Tina dun sa parlor na yun at sya nang manager pumalit kay Bing. Happiness pa din. Hindi na nagpapakita sa Thursdates si Bing dahil 'nahihiya' ang lola. Artichoke ah.
Si Pet at Zelle ay nagkatuluyan na dahil na din sa walang awang pambabara ko kung bakit sila nag iinarteng dalawa pa. Turns out ako ang not so fairy godfather nilang dalawa. Haynax! Matchmakers never find their own match nga ba?
Iiwanan na ako ni Panyero dahil tutulak na ng Manila para mag review sa Bar. Sushalan ang lolo dahil sa Ateneo nag enroll. Mamimiss ko ang letche, pero nagyayayang puntahan ko sa Manila sa May... Why not! Le Manille Denizens, wait lang, babalik ang batchoy boi jan.
Si Perlas naka T.R.O. Sa loob ng dalawang bwan , hindi sya pwedeng uminom. Under "Friends Arrest" ang lolang lasenggera.
Si Geloy ay nasali sa listahan ng Provincial Finalists for the Metrobank Most Outstanding Teachers Award! Taray ng lola mo! I am so proud of you and I am praying na manalo ka neng! Aylabyah!
Iiwanan na din ako ni Mother John. Tumanggap na ng teaching load ang nanay ko at babalik na sa La Salle jan sa Manila. Mamimiss ko ang nanay ko, at sure na bibisitahan ko rin jan sa Manila kaya baka mapapadalas na ang pagluwas ko jan. I love you Mother.
-------------------------------------------
Third
Naloloka ako. Andami kong dapat isulat. Madaming dapat tignan, i-edit at iayos. Magsusubmit pa ako at aayusin ang entries ko for the Palanca. Pagkatapos ko magpyansa ay sumaglit ako sa Museo kahapon. Nalaman ko kay lola Zafiro na namatay na sa katandaan ang Agila sa bahay nila. Nakalulungkot. Ngayon, buntis ako sa storyang makulit. Gusto ko syang isualt. Working Title: "Patay na Ang Agila." Metaphorical ang 'pagkamatay' at ang 'agila'. hindi pa buo ang storya kaya natuturete ang utak ko sa ngayon. For now, I know that the Agila sa Bahay ng Agila nila Zaffy ang magiging cultural springboard ng storyang to, and it will have a dark gay character.
Sa mga writing jobs ko naman, kinailangan ko basahin ulit ang Dracula ni Bram Stoker. Classic talaga ang librong to! Nalulula ako sa writing style ni Bram. Epistolary ang style. Hinahaplos naman ako ng kalungkutan sa napaka lungkot na linya ni Count Dracula sa libro. Eto yun:
"I am no longer young, and my heart, through weary years of mourning over the dead, is not attuned to mirth. Moreover, the walls of my castle are broken. The shadows are many, and the wind breathes cold through the broken battlements and casements. I love the shade and the shadow, and would be alone with my thoughts when I may." - Count Dracula, Bram Stoker's Dracula
Sad no?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Finally
Sometimes I think we tend to over intellectualize things. Madami sa mga sinusundan kong blog ang nag iintellectualize ng mga kung ano anong mga bagay, from Top and Bottom, to Sex as politics at kung anu ano pa. I enjoy the intellectual discourse, kaso mdami din naman ang sweeping generalizations, at sa lagi kong kino quote na sabi ni Dr. Margarita Go-Singco Holmes na "Let us do away with labellings because it hurts." Kaya hindi na lang din ako nag co-comment dahil dinudugo ako ng masyadong matalinong pagkaka discuss nila ng mga punto nila. Ang tatalino nila, shet, nakakahiya. Hehehehehe. Meanwhile, I found this video, kaya ito na ang sagot ko. Medyo simplistic sya kung iisp-isipin at medyo shallow na din ang sagot pero tingin ko tama sya. Ganun lang ka simple yun. Kasi nga, napaka diverse natin. To start with, iba iba tayo kasi. Ito sya, makinig kayo.
Ang paborito ko sa sinabi nya
"And yes, you can be Gay, and find other gay men obnoxious!" Taray!
Meanwhile. maliligo na muna ako and prepare for the night. Coffee beckons, and I heed the call!
Bitteresa Magbanua Part 2 of 2
And so the night wore on. Around 7 PM, I found myself still finishing the last few pages of something I was doing for some client. I texted Rex.
"Bear with me. Is everyone around? Will be there As soon as I can."
"Ikaw na lang kulang."
I know etchos lang to. I'm sure kung ako na lang kulang, nakapagsimula na sila. What should my presence be for them to really wait.
"Shet! I swear! Ipa auction ko na gid ni ya ang Versace ko nga gown. Naghalug na naman ang hawak gina pa adjust pa. Sorry! ara na!
*** Shet I swear. I will really auction off this Versace gown. The hips got very loose again and needs to be adjusted. Sorry! I'm on my way!
Almost everyone was there. More importantly, Perlas was OK and she was already off the IV and walking around already. She even got permitted to go downstairs with a nurse in tow. She can't go out though. She stayyed at the lobby area and needed to come back up to her room. Rex decided to talk outside, somewhere nearby, since we can't all fit in Perlas' room, and since it was semi-private, only two visitors were allowed at a time.
There was a bridge somewhere near, and after Perlas had her own talk with W, she went back to her room. W finally got to tak to us. He apologized for the blahblah of the chuva yadda yadda yadda. Before he was even finished, somebody from the group countered, and I just had to take it upon myself to 'moderate' the 'forum.'
"Wait, let him say everything that he has to say. Each one will be given time to say his/her piece, ask his/her question, and when everyone is done, W will answer, and then Rex will say what he has to say." I was tempted to add, this is modified Oxford Oregon, after which, there will be a rebuttal. Hehehehe... gawin bang debate?
It felt really off and weird for me. Everyone said their piece, and most, especially the girls were furious in varying degrees. How, W was so callous and remorseless, not dignifying Rex with even a decent reply to his texts, sometimes, for days on end, and after a week of nothing, he suddenly texts "Hi Mine, are you still Mine?" They call each other mine. The cruel word smith in me says: Mine? As in Gold mine? How appropriate! Kulang na lang sabihin na ginamit lang ni W si Rex. Pag nag aaway sila ni Hey, run to Rex. Pag Ok na sila ulit, relegate Rex. I can remember clearly Nia's question. It sounded rhetorical but it hit a resounding bell in one of the forgotten recesses of my heart.
"I just want to know W. How does it feel that while Rex is texting you and you are texting back, you are with Hey? How does it feel that when we had that dinner at your bar, because Rex did this for you, you rush out to bring Hey to the hospital? How does it feel that when Rex knew, he even volunteered to drive you there in his car?"
Rhetorics rhetorics and dripping, sickeningly pathetic really, and ugh! Puhleeezzzzz! But really, deep down inside, I saw myself asking these same rhetorical questions to some long forgotten significant other/s, but something to this effect.
"How does it make you feel, that while I was becoming half crazy and trying to figure out to know what was going wrong with us, and after trying to turn the world over and working my soul off to make things work between us and try to save what we had, you were giving updates to your new one, how pathetic I was and loony in my attempts, because all the while, you were just finding faults to justify your breaking up with me so you and your new one could start your orchestrated new romance?"
AW GAWD! I was overwhelmed too, by the full force of the friends who each gave their bitter biles and slappy words to W. GAWD! When I dealt with my own heart aches, I never allowed my friends any word to the erring partner. I faced them all, on my own. No support group.
And then, it was my turn. So I started saying my piece.
"Let me try to be as objective as I can be. This may hurt a bit, but since you are asking me, here goes. First of all, let me say that I admire you W for saying sorry, but personally, I feel you have nothing to apologize to me. It is between you and Rex, and I have no stake in that. I am a mere innocent bystander. In the same token, whatever I may say of, and to Rex, being his friend, does not concern you in any way. However, since andito na to, very well then... Rex, this does not exonerate you at all. Never were you right, and never will you be, emotions, hurt and pain notwithstanding. Harsh as it may seem, you had it coming. You knew what you were entering into, and you took the choice with full knowledge of the consequences. Nothing changes the fact that this is wrong from the very start. You knew he was partnered. He never kept that from you. However, the way I see it, I am sorry but I think it is you W, above any one else, who is much much at fault here. See, you were the one with the partner, the one with an obligation, the one with a relationship to protect. It may not be right for Rex to have pursued you, but see, it was you who should have ran faster away. You who should have put distance, kept him at bay. Which brings me to a supposition that, Rex might have not been as crazy as he is about you and crazier still, and deeper still, if there was no return stimulus, prodding, or 'come-on' fro you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I see it, you led Rex on, too, especially with a promise of leaving Hey eventually." At this point, Rex answered in W's defense. It crushed my heart! Potah!
"Well, as I see it, this is the deal. If you were to ask me, your sorry for Rex is not enough. Contrition should be coupled with reparation and restitution. (Father ikaw ba yan?) You have to do something. How and what to do, that, I do not know. Then again, it's just me. Or maybe, you should just walk away and not bother Rex anymore." At this point nag hysterical na si Rex.
Kesyong na hurt sya pero di nya alam talaga what needs to be done. Ayaw na nya pero ayaw din nya isarado ang possibility na pwede pa maging sila in the future. Na di nya kayang biglaan, yadda yadda yadda. At this point ang saraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap sarap sabunutan ni Rex at iuntog untog sa rough road with matching facial! Naman kai eh! Salit salitan na ang diskusyon. When I got the chance to speak again I said.
"Wait! Stop! Taympers! Paikot ikot lang tayo eh. Sandali lang. The most important question is, what now? Ano na? Aabutin tayo ng next week nito eh! Ikaw Rex, what do you want ba? Gusto mo makaganti? Gusto mo dedmahin an namin si W forever, para amanos? Gusto mo iwanan na ni W si Hey for you? What? What do you want?"
"Hindi ko alam for now... kais kung ganyan, baka matakot na sya in teh future kasi ganito pala ang nangyayari pag nagkakagulo. Kalaban nya buong barkada... blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, I still believe in the chance blah blah blah!... simply becasue, I love him... yadda yadda yadda!" Sarap sarap kastiguhin ng lola mo that tym and t the same time awang awa ako sa kanya. However he does not need sympathy.
"Rex, please, that's a far supposition. Kung ano man mangyari, kung magkabalikan man kayo, kahit ayaw namin, may magagawa ba kami? Ikaw yan eh. Kayo yan. It will be between the both of you."
"Eh ikaw W? What? What now?"
Speech ang W. Point is, he cannot leave Hey. He loves Hey, but he also loves Rex. Spell SWAPANG!
And with a tone of finality sabi ni Judge este Luis.
"That settles it! Hindi na pwede. Kahit hindi alam ni Rex ang nararamdaman nya dahil nasasaktan sya at nagmamahal pa din at the same time, buo ang pasya ni W. Wala na. Cannot be. Di nya maiiwanan si Hey. End of discussion. W, panindigan mo yan. Be firm. Ok na ba tayo?" Shet! Kalorkey!
Matapos ang makabugbog damdaming labu-labo, nagkape ako sa kapehan. Napabuntong hininga, ninamnam ang matampait na kape. Buti na lang, ang kape, may asukal pampatamis. Siguro naman, lahat ng kabitteran sa mundo, merong pampatamis no? Nasaan na kaya si Baboy at ang mga naunang mga Baboy at mga Ba-babes (babaeng baboy shempre) na minahal ko before him? Sana miserable sila sa mga buhay buhay nila mga tanginampakincheff nilang lahat! Bitter Ocanmpo koh! I swear! Bitteressa Magbanua ever! Order ng kape ulit, lagok, hithit sa yosi, buga, and smile!
JOKE! Sana mabuhay silang lahat ng pagkatagal tagal. Mahabang mahabang buhay at sobrang tandang tanda... na nag iisa! Nyehehehehe!
"Bear with me. Is everyone around? Will be there As soon as I can."
"Ikaw na lang kulang."
I know etchos lang to. I'm sure kung ako na lang kulang, nakapagsimula na sila. What should my presence be for them to really wait.
"Shet! I swear! Ipa auction ko na gid ni ya ang Versace ko nga gown. Naghalug na naman ang hawak gina pa adjust pa. Sorry! ara na!
*** Shet I swear. I will really auction off this Versace gown. The hips got very loose again and needs to be adjusted. Sorry! I'm on my way!
Almost everyone was there. More importantly, Perlas was OK and she was already off the IV and walking around already. She even got permitted to go downstairs with a nurse in tow. She can't go out though. She stayyed at the lobby area and needed to come back up to her room. Rex decided to talk outside, somewhere nearby, since we can't all fit in Perlas' room, and since it was semi-private, only two visitors were allowed at a time.
There was a bridge somewhere near, and after Perlas had her own talk with W, she went back to her room. W finally got to tak to us. He apologized for the blahblah of the chuva yadda yadda yadda. Before he was even finished, somebody from the group countered, and I just had to take it upon myself to 'moderate' the 'forum.'
"Wait, let him say everything that he has to say. Each one will be given time to say his/her piece, ask his/her question, and when everyone is done, W will answer, and then Rex will say what he has to say." I was tempted to add, this is modified Oxford Oregon, after which, there will be a rebuttal. Hehehehe... gawin bang debate?
It felt really off and weird for me. Everyone said their piece, and most, especially the girls were furious in varying degrees. How, W was so callous and remorseless, not dignifying Rex with even a decent reply to his texts, sometimes, for days on end, and after a week of nothing, he suddenly texts "Hi Mine, are you still Mine?" They call each other mine. The cruel word smith in me says: Mine? As in Gold mine? How appropriate! Kulang na lang sabihin na ginamit lang ni W si Rex. Pag nag aaway sila ni Hey, run to Rex. Pag Ok na sila ulit, relegate Rex. I can remember clearly Nia's question. It sounded rhetorical but it hit a resounding bell in one of the forgotten recesses of my heart.
"I just want to know W. How does it feel that while Rex is texting you and you are texting back, you are with Hey? How does it feel that when we had that dinner at your bar, because Rex did this for you, you rush out to bring Hey to the hospital? How does it feel that when Rex knew, he even volunteered to drive you there in his car?"
Rhetorics rhetorics and dripping, sickeningly pathetic really, and ugh! Puhleeezzzzz! But really, deep down inside, I saw myself asking these same rhetorical questions to some long forgotten significant other/s, but something to this effect.
"How does it make you feel, that while I was becoming half crazy and trying to figure out to know what was going wrong with us, and after trying to turn the world over and working my soul off to make things work between us and try to save what we had, you were giving updates to your new one, how pathetic I was and loony in my attempts, because all the while, you were just finding faults to justify your breaking up with me so you and your new one could start your orchestrated new romance?"
AW GAWD! I was overwhelmed too, by the full force of the friends who each gave their bitter biles and slappy words to W. GAWD! When I dealt with my own heart aches, I never allowed my friends any word to the erring partner. I faced them all, on my own. No support group.
And then, it was my turn. So I started saying my piece.
"Let me try to be as objective as I can be. This may hurt a bit, but since you are asking me, here goes. First of all, let me say that I admire you W for saying sorry, but personally, I feel you have nothing to apologize to me. It is between you and Rex, and I have no stake in that. I am a mere innocent bystander. In the same token, whatever I may say of, and to Rex, being his friend, does not concern you in any way. However, since andito na to, very well then... Rex, this does not exonerate you at all. Never were you right, and never will you be, emotions, hurt and pain notwithstanding. Harsh as it may seem, you had it coming. You knew what you were entering into, and you took the choice with full knowledge of the consequences. Nothing changes the fact that this is wrong from the very start. You knew he was partnered. He never kept that from you. However, the way I see it, I am sorry but I think it is you W, above any one else, who is much much at fault here. See, you were the one with the partner, the one with an obligation, the one with a relationship to protect. It may not be right for Rex to have pursued you, but see, it was you who should have ran faster away. You who should have put distance, kept him at bay. Which brings me to a supposition that, Rex might have not been as crazy as he is about you and crazier still, and deeper still, if there was no return stimulus, prodding, or 'come-on' fro you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I see it, you led Rex on, too, especially with a promise of leaving Hey eventually." At this point, Rex answered in W's defense. It crushed my heart! Potah!
"Well, as I see it, this is the deal. If you were to ask me, your sorry for Rex is not enough. Contrition should be coupled with reparation and restitution. (Father ikaw ba yan?) You have to do something. How and what to do, that, I do not know. Then again, it's just me. Or maybe, you should just walk away and not bother Rex anymore." At this point nag hysterical na si Rex.
Kesyong na hurt sya pero di nya alam talaga what needs to be done. Ayaw na nya pero ayaw din nya isarado ang possibility na pwede pa maging sila in the future. Na di nya kayang biglaan, yadda yadda yadda. At this point ang saraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap sarap sabunutan ni Rex at iuntog untog sa rough road with matching facial! Naman kai eh! Salit salitan na ang diskusyon. When I got the chance to speak again I said.
"Wait! Stop! Taympers! Paikot ikot lang tayo eh. Sandali lang. The most important question is, what now? Ano na? Aabutin tayo ng next week nito eh! Ikaw Rex, what do you want ba? Gusto mo makaganti? Gusto mo dedmahin an namin si W forever, para amanos? Gusto mo iwanan na ni W si Hey for you? What? What do you want?"
"Hindi ko alam for now... kais kung ganyan, baka matakot na sya in teh future kasi ganito pala ang nangyayari pag nagkakagulo. Kalaban nya buong barkada... blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, I still believe in the chance blah blah blah!... simply becasue, I love him... yadda yadda yadda!" Sarap sarap kastiguhin ng lola mo that tym and t the same time awang awa ako sa kanya. However he does not need sympathy.
"Rex, please, that's a far supposition. Kung ano man mangyari, kung magkabalikan man kayo, kahit ayaw namin, may magagawa ba kami? Ikaw yan eh. Kayo yan. It will be between the both of you."
"Eh ikaw W? What? What now?"
Speech ang W. Point is, he cannot leave Hey. He loves Hey, but he also loves Rex. Spell SWAPANG!
And with a tone of finality sabi ni Judge este Luis.
"That settles it! Hindi na pwede. Kahit hindi alam ni Rex ang nararamdaman nya dahil nasasaktan sya at nagmamahal pa din at the same time, buo ang pasya ni W. Wala na. Cannot be. Di nya maiiwanan si Hey. End of discussion. W, panindigan mo yan. Be firm. Ok na ba tayo?" Shet! Kalorkey!
Matapos ang makabugbog damdaming labu-labo, nagkape ako sa kapehan. Napabuntong hininga, ninamnam ang matampait na kape. Buti na lang, ang kape, may asukal pampatamis. Siguro naman, lahat ng kabitteran sa mundo, merong pampatamis no? Nasaan na kaya si Baboy at ang mga naunang mga Baboy at mga Ba-babes (babaeng baboy shempre) na minahal ko before him? Sana miserable sila sa mga buhay buhay nila mga tanginampakincheff nilang lahat! Bitter Ocanmpo koh! I swear! Bitteressa Magbanua ever! Order ng kape ulit, lagok, hithit sa yosi, buga, and smile!
JOKE! Sana mabuhay silang lahat ng pagkatagal tagal. Mahabang mahabang buhay at sobrang tandang tanda... na nag iisa! Nyehehehehe!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Bitteresa Magbanua Part 1 of 2
I always tell my friends when they start falling for someone that when you give a person the right to love you, you also give them the right to hurt you more than anyone else.
Ganun yun. The nearer that person is to your heart, the more pain he can inflict and the more damage he can wreak upon your poor poor heart.
I am not just referring to what happened to my friend Rex, but to all and sundry too.
After all the continuing shiszmics he has gone through, the affair ended with one noisy clattering break point.
"Guys can we please all be at WGHJXVB Hospital at 7PM later? Perlas' IV has already been removed and her endoscopy results are OK. W will be there. He wants to talk to all of you. Pls. don't text him what he's going to talk about, just trust me please, and be there. C yah"
Group text yan ni Rex sa aming lahat. I decided to go. I wanted to see Perlas and I think I have an idea what this is all about. If at all, I just want to be there to show Rex some lovin and support. A little backgrounder would be proper I guess. This is the crux of the story.
Rex saw W three years ago, and at that point, he already pined for him. Years later, they had the (mis)fortune of getting acquainted. Iloilo is such a small place and we know how rainbow denizens move about in a very limited dating/gimmick pool, don't we. And so Rex pursued W. Eventually, W's wall of resistance crumbled in sweet surrender to Rex's urgings. I do not know how many kilos of Mangoes it took, or how many baskets of fruits, bowls of pasta, boxes of cake it took to do the job. I heard of one incident where Rex filled the whole car with ballons and what nots to woo W. You'd say its a classic boy meets boy, hunter pursues prey and ends up victorous, story, but wait, there's more, says the TV Shopping Network.
W has a long time partner. W and Hey have been together for the longest time, with both families accepting their union. In fact, W and Hey are partners in a bar biz. In other words, Rex became the third wheel. I kept telling Rex how wrong it is, and how, the end, will really justify the means. What do you expect from such a complicated relationship such as this one? Unofrtunately, Rex's heart had a mind of its own and wouldn't listen to logic. We respected na lang what they were having. Sino ba naman ako para mag pumilit sa kung ano ang tingin ko ay tama? After all, I had my own string of married men during my heydays.
In the process, it was unavoidable that in the blind surge of love and passion, the barkada got kaladkad. There were times when Rex would call and organize a 'dinner' in W's bar to support the biz and bring clients to the place. Halos araw araw nandun sya, at halos araw araw din nyang nakakaladkad ang pwedeng makaladkad para pumunta sa bar ni W (at ni Hey).
Now, what exactly went wrong, as if it could go any more wrong as it already was? Rex began to feel neglected. He began to feel his efforts to be never enough for W. I do not know exactly how, but W seem to have assured Rex that all he needs is to stick it with him, and when time is right, he'd leave Hey. Up to the point of planning an orchestrated exit, while Rex temporarily disappears from the picture when W breaks it up with Hey.
To be very honest, Rex may be my friend but my heart goes out to Hey. Kawawa naman sya. Wala syang kamalay malay pag nagkataon. I know how it feels and I can not stand the fact that I, in one way or another, will become party to this betrayal. I put my foot down, and registered my continued objection to the ploy. I will not stand for that. Bahala na a alienate sa barkada. Ayoko maging part ng isang kataksilan at pagkakasakit sa isang taong walang kamuwang muwang.
Choo bee kantinyood
Ganun yun. The nearer that person is to your heart, the more pain he can inflict and the more damage he can wreak upon your poor poor heart.
I am not just referring to what happened to my friend Rex, but to all and sundry too.
After all the continuing shiszmics he has gone through, the affair ended with one noisy clattering break point.
"Guys can we please all be at WGHJXVB Hospital at 7PM later? Perlas' IV has already been removed and her endoscopy results are OK. W will be there. He wants to talk to all of you. Pls. don't text him what he's going to talk about, just trust me please, and be there. C yah"
Group text yan ni Rex sa aming lahat. I decided to go. I wanted to see Perlas and I think I have an idea what this is all about. If at all, I just want to be there to show Rex some lovin and support. A little backgrounder would be proper I guess. This is the crux of the story.
Rex saw W three years ago, and at that point, he already pined for him. Years later, they had the (mis)fortune of getting acquainted. Iloilo is such a small place and we know how rainbow denizens move about in a very limited dating/gimmick pool, don't we. And so Rex pursued W. Eventually, W's wall of resistance crumbled in sweet surrender to Rex's urgings. I do not know how many kilos of Mangoes it took, or how many baskets of fruits, bowls of pasta, boxes of cake it took to do the job. I heard of one incident where Rex filled the whole car with ballons and what nots to woo W. You'd say its a classic boy meets boy, hunter pursues prey and ends up victorous, story, but wait, there's more, says the TV Shopping Network.
W has a long time partner. W and Hey have been together for the longest time, with both families accepting their union. In fact, W and Hey are partners in a bar biz. In other words, Rex became the third wheel. I kept telling Rex how wrong it is, and how, the end, will really justify the means. What do you expect from such a complicated relationship such as this one? Unofrtunately, Rex's heart had a mind of its own and wouldn't listen to logic. We respected na lang what they were having. Sino ba naman ako para mag pumilit sa kung ano ang tingin ko ay tama? After all, I had my own string of married men during my heydays.
In the process, it was unavoidable that in the blind surge of love and passion, the barkada got kaladkad. There were times when Rex would call and organize a 'dinner' in W's bar to support the biz and bring clients to the place. Halos araw araw nandun sya, at halos araw araw din nyang nakakaladkad ang pwedeng makaladkad para pumunta sa bar ni W (at ni Hey).
Now, what exactly went wrong, as if it could go any more wrong as it already was? Rex began to feel neglected. He began to feel his efforts to be never enough for W. I do not know exactly how, but W seem to have assured Rex that all he needs is to stick it with him, and when time is right, he'd leave Hey. Up to the point of planning an orchestrated exit, while Rex temporarily disappears from the picture when W breaks it up with Hey.
To be very honest, Rex may be my friend but my heart goes out to Hey. Kawawa naman sya. Wala syang kamalay malay pag nagkataon. I know how it feels and I can not stand the fact that I, in one way or another, will become party to this betrayal. I put my foot down, and registered my continued objection to the ploy. I will not stand for that. Bahala na a alienate sa barkada. Ayoko maging part ng isang kataksilan at pagkakasakit sa isang taong walang kamuwang muwang.
Choo bee kantinyood
Monday, April 13, 2009
Interview with the Batchoy
Nag email sa akin ang current EIC ng schoolm pub na dati ko pinamumunuan. Nasa email ang draft ng interview nya sa akin na ilalabas nya sa susunod na isyu ng magazine sa school.
Two things.
1. Nakakatuwa dahil light ad spunky ang dating ng interbyu
2. Medyo tamad sya. He did not write 'around' the interview. Talagang kin-cut and paste nya lang ang usapan namin over YM. Hehehehe.
Oh well...
Here's the transcript, for that 'Happy thought'. Just in case merong pixie dust...
Enjoy!
The former EIC who stood up as a Palanca awardee An Interview with Luis Batchoy***
By Ricky D. Apelado
Palanggaun ta kag ipabugal ang atun lengwahe.---Luis Batchoy
The Purisimian interviewed Mr. Luis Batchoy ***the former Editor-in-Chief of The Purisimian publication and a graduate of BS Commerce Major in Management in the year 2004. His short story in Hiligaynon entitled “Bitay” was chosen last September 1, 2008 as
Ricky: How’s life after winning Palanca
Luis: Hahaha. Life has been the same although its busier now. With recognition comes tight schedules. When i won the palanca, more people started seeing me as a serious writer
people started expecting bigger things.
Ricky: How did you feel when you knew you're one of the Palanca awardees?
Luis: GOD! I was screaming my lungs out the whole morning
when I got the invitation in the mail. I screamed hysterics. Hehehehhehe. And when I knew who the other winners were, I was bowled over to be included with Dr. Leoncio Deriada and Prof. Alice Tan Gonzales.
Ricky: What inspired you to write Bitay?
Luis: Have you read the story?
Ricky: Yes, precisely. And I'm amazed that you even introduced Tapaz, Capiz.
Luis: Bitay is a 'cultural' story. The springboard is a cultural event during holy weeks. I have always been fascinated by the pageantry of the holy week. As a Capiznon writer I’m proud of Capiz. This is a cultural assertion. If other writers can write about stories set in manila, or even
Ricky: I'm amazed with the story. Is it really true?
Luis: What about it do you want to know? Well, i was sakristan mayor when i was younger that church Santa Teresita was where I served. I was reciting the resplandor for almost five years until I was too big for the role. So the story and the plot are etched in my heart. It’s partly true, partly fiction. The plot is factual. The bitay happens every year during Easter but the rest is fictionalized.
Ricky: What is really about Palanca Awards?
Luis: Palanca is the most prestigious writing award in the
Ricky: So what do you want to say to those who want to become Palanca awardees?
Luis: I say do not write for the awards. Do not write to win anything. Write because it's what your heart tells you to do. Write because if you can't write you will die. Write because there is nothing else that matters in the world.
Ricky: Can you tell some things about yourself?
Luis: I’m such a big kid. Hehhehehe
Ricky: Can you tell something more about you? What are your hobbies?
Luis: Hahahaha. Well. I’m a crazy guy. Hobbies? Tambay kag mangape. In my spare time I also do theater. Kung may spare time pa eh.
Ricky: With your success are there some things you would like to share about your failures and struggles? As a student before? As a writer? Now? Thanks.
Luis: As a student and even now, there is just not enough time. Writing sometimes is considered a waste of time. People think we need "REAL" jobs. Writing can not bring food to the table. It is not a profitable thing to do. With my love for the publication my academics always suffered.
Ricky: How did you manage your academic life and curricular activities before?
Luis: By being friends with my teacher and making palu-oy lu-oy.hehehehehehehhehe. I’m glad that most teachers understand how it is to be with the publication and somehow, when the magazine comes out all my efforts and hard work always get paid off. I had a wonderful staff. Harold Buenvenida was a work horse. Thea Acielo was a great Managing Editor. My staff were good to work with…plus, Ma'am Calvez, and later, Ma'am Glenn Tercero were very supportive… same with Fr. Conrado Palete.
Ricky: For you, what are d secrets to success?
Luis: GOD’s Grace, HARD WORK, Dedication to your Passion, and good people who support you. Finding a cause bigger than you and dedicating your life to it. That's the secret I guess.
Ricky: What are your plans in the future? May we know them?
Luis: Plans? Well I plan to be a good lawyer to help the poor and marginalized especially the children. Well... serve also the rich who may need help. Hhehehhehe. Write more poems, more stories and perhaps publish books in time maybe write a legitimate novel, win in the MAN ASIAN? The National Book Award? And find my one true love.gegege
Ricky: What can you say about journalist killings, and freedom of the press?
Luis: This is a dangerous world that we are living in today. People die for what they believe in. People die for their convictions. And there is no other way. Journalists should keep the fire burning. They should stick to the fight no matter how hard the odds. However, I believe in developmental journalism. The power of the press is a force to reckon with. Let us not taint this, and let us keep in mind that with the powers they wield, come great responsibility and social responsiveness. It is deplorable but true, how the powers of the press are abused and used to achieve personal ends, time and again..
Ricky: What would your advice be to future job applicants especially we're suffering global recession and inflation?
Luis: One thing. Unemployed is different from unemployable. While we can not avoid sometimes being unemployed let us do everything within our means to avoid or to refuse being unemployable.
Ricky: What's your message to the whole Purisimian community?
Luis: Baw message gid ya. Daw world peace.hehehhehehe God gave us talents. In the end, we will be accountable for them. So let your light shine. Follow your heart. You can’t go wrong.
Ricky: Any concerns?
Luis: Well, I wish that there were more writers who would start writing and embracing local languages. More writers in Hiligaynon. After all, our national language is in the process of being written. I hope there would be more who would contribute to writing Hiligaynon in the niche of our national language. There is no such thing as a superior language. In more ways than one, Hiligaynon can be a language superior to English. Palanggaun ta kag ipabugal ang atun lengwahe.
*** Luis Batchoy replces my real name, in keeping with the 'secrecy' of my real identity... etcgos lang. di bala Dawn?
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