I wasn't even able to say goodbye to you.
I didn't even get to hug you one last time.
I did not even get to give you one last parting kiss.
And now... you are gone from my life
To say that I will miss you will be an understatement. When I had you, my life was so much better. You gave me that feeling of being better than most. You made my life a little happier, a little easier, and a lot lot lot better.
How do I forget you? How do I erase from my mind, that very first day I laid my eyes on you? How, you will become mine, and only mine? How do I forget that electricity that coursed through my body the first time I held you? How can I not remind myself of the pride that overflowed to be able to call you mine?
How do I forget the memories and the times with you? How we braved through everything? The ups and downs, the twists and turns and long winding roads together? The hot blazing sun and balmy nights, and the rainy days and stormy nights we had together? The many times you picked me up and gave me joy, and the many times you let me down too?
Now you are gone... I was not even able to say goodbye to you. My heart is burdened by tears... I am drowning in my misery. No one told me you'd be gone from me. No one. I only overheard them talk and that's when I knew I would never see you again. Well, maybe I would see you, but you'd never be mine again. I may find another one in time, but it can never take your place in my heart.
I know it's too late, but let me say this properly...
I will sorely miss you! In fact I already do.
You will always be the first one in my life.
Mudrah; Wala, siguro hindi nya nirehistro yung sasakyan nung 2008
Pudrah: Tanungin mo mamya
Moi: ang alin ba?
Mudrah: Nak nirehistro mo ba yung sasakyan mo nung 2008?
Moi: OO naman, bakit?
Mudrah: Eh nasan na ang OR/CR
Moi: Nandun sa car. Bakit nga kasi?
Mudrah: Ay nako, hindi makita, pinagbayad pa ako. Pinarehistro ko na lang ulit
Moi: Oh asan na ang rehistro?
Mudrah: Dun na sa may ari, nagkagastos pa ako.
Moi: Sa may ari?
Shef! Gone... Sold!
Because dad got tired of having the car repaired. I stifled the urge to lash out.
Moi: Eh ang mga gamit ko? Di nyo man lang ako sinabihan, sana man lang naligpit ko muna yung mga gamit ko dun sa sasakyan.
Mudrah: Andun sa sako ang lahat ng libro mo.
Moi: (checking) kulang to eh, madami pa ako gamit dun sa mga lalagyan at compartments.
Mudrah: Ano pa ba ang kulang jan?
Moi: Hindi ko alam, hindi ko naman ma saulo lahat yun, pero kulang to...
I was fighting the sweeping wave of loneliness. They sold the car to get rid of it because my dad was tired of the expenses it takes to have it fixed every time. I clamped down on the urge to answer back. I held my peace.
Tired? Tired of maintaining the car? Tired of maintaining my car?
1. That car was promised/bribed to me. It was supposed to be provided once I entered law school so I could use it as a service when I go to school. It came only after my third year in school. 3 years late. My other little sibling got their cars when they turned 18.
2. My car is just a cheap Kia Sportage. They drive a Pajero and a Rav4. Mine was only given as an 'afterthought'. My other siblings cars are more fuel guzzlers than mine. My other sibs have repeatedly incurred expenses for the bumps and damages that I have not incurred except the usual repairs and maintenance.
3. My sister had her Pajero 'car napped' and it took money to recover it. My little brother smashed the Rav4 on an LBC signpost almost totally wrecking the car. It was restored and everything. My car is the 'cheapest' of the lot, and the one with the most miles before it became mine. Naturally, it was the one likely to always break down. I mad do with what I was given.
4. I have been driving my car for only over two years. My little sibs have been driving for almost five years. My car maintenance is costly and my dad got tired?
5. I pay for minor repairs and maintenance. Dad pays for everything with my little sibs cars.
Oh yes... life is unfair. Then again... Then again... allow me to whine. I am in pain and at a loss. I did not even get to say goodbye properly to my first car. I do not know if there will be a replacement. I won't bother to even ask. I am at a loss. Back to walking and commuting then...