Today is a day off from my exciting new work. Training ended and I am going to be receiving calls tomorrow. I am happy with what's going on at work and I love how my Team Leader and Floor Walker is as excited as I am to see what I can do come Monday. My shift at 12:00 AM to 8:00 AM is also very very convenient as I get enough time to steam off and unload school concerns before I come on board. I'm scared a bit and excited all at once.
Since today is an off day, I went out and grab the usual mug at my lair. Ever since I started training, I haven't been to my lair and I miss my alone/hang-out time with a steamy mug of coffee.
What I noticed most was the crisp cold bite of the December air. This is what I hate about off days; the non occupation of the mind will surely give the heart a time for bitching and wrenching rants! I'm cold and lonely is what it said tonight.
Forgive this emo post, but, as everyone knows, there will always be nights like these. Nights when we go emo and feel all the shitty thingamajigs especially "when the night falls and my lonely heart calls," says lola Whitney!
As it has always been; writing is, and will always be my release, so allow me to unburden a bit, ayt? GOD! The cold seeps through my jacket and into my bones, and no matter how long it has been, I really can not get used to being alone like this. I still believe that I was made to warm someone else's dark December night, as someone was made to warm mine as well. For now, there's coffee and yosi... till then! I quietly sipped my coffee, puffed yosi, release a deep sigh of longing, and utter a little prayer, to that supreme being, up above and beyond the skies. whoever He/She/It may be. Where are you, my Christmas cheer? Will you be able to find me before this loneliness that kills forfeit our tickets to forever? Like this blogpost, there are no pictures to stare at; only words that try to tell of the cold and bitter winds that lash my body and only the thought that someone, somwhere out there is wondering too, what's taking me so long keeps the frail flame aglow.
I have always believed that for a shot at happiness, everything is worth it. But I am also left wondering if I have used up all my shots... I have always believed in love and finding it with all my heart, but I also wonder if my belief is misplaced.
If and when I have used up all my shots, will you take one of yours for me? And if I will come to a point where I would stop believing in love, will it be love's turn to believe in me?
Maybe it's just the cold December nights, and maybe, it is as they say, that the darkest part of night is during the last few minutes before the sun would rise.
It's cold in here without you, and I am pretty sure, it's cold there too, without me.