Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Mooo


Here's something forwarded from my email. I had a good laugh. I had to resist adding something Philippine at the end of the email. Hehehehe... Enjoy!

Chuckles!

For all those who didn't pay attention in school...... . :-) Have a great day everyone!!

Socialism
You have two cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

Communism
You have two cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism
You have two cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism
You have two cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism
You have two cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away……

Traditional Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows,
You sell them and retire on the income.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

An American Corporation
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

Marxism/Leninism
The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather.

Politically Correct
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.


Socratic Methodism
How many cows do I have? Why?

United Nations
You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.

Talibanism
You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."

Enron Venture Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. The public then buys your bull.

A French Corporation
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A German Corporation
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

An Italian Corporation
You have two cows.
You decide to have lunch.

A Russian Corporation
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss Corporation
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A Chinese Corporation
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
An Indian Corporation
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A British Corporation
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

An Iraqi Corporation
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…

An Australian Corporation
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A New Zealand Corporation
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.


Photo Credits:

http://www.bartonchronicle.com/

4 comments:

Aris said...

this is so funny! thanks for sharing. haylavet! :)

Reesie said...

this is too funny. nagcopy-paste kaagad ako.. send ko kaagad sa mga fwendz ko.. thanks!

The Zen Bitch said...

read something like this a while back, although mas current ang tama nitong post mo. so funny...

Luis Batchoy said...

aris: sobrang natawa nga ako jan eh.

ressie: no problem, go ahead, cut and paste!

zen: matagal na pala to eh. way back 2006 meron na