I'm sticking to my emo diet, and wouldn't wanna tell you that another friend got dumped today... Oooopppsss... Anyhoover, here is something I got from my email. The author is unknown. It made me chuckle... Enjoy!
Asylum for the Verbally Insane
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then, one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at arecital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?
Tomorrow, I'm gonna party with some friends. We will party at Club Pure at the Small Ville Compound, Iloilo's top gimmick destination. I'm not a hard core party animal, but I guess I need to shake some tail feathers loose and groove it in lieu of a proper Semestral Break! Yes sirree and Mesdames, I still have an exam left, and that just sucks. Then again, it won't be a regular gimmick night, because tomorrow will be Club Pure's Halloween thinggie, and it will be a masquerade party.
Plus, it won't be pure party because our group was invited by the organizers to offer Tarot Readings for that night. It would be a perfect opportunity to not only dress up, but also to give my new Tarot deck a road test, and of course, earn a few bucks on the sides.
And if you are wondering what or whom I will be coming as... I will go as him!